To put things into perspective: just a few days ago I lost my childhood dog. She was a beautiful, chocolate lab named Dutchess who had just turned nine years old a month prior. I had gotten her when I was in fourth or fifth grade, making her a constant entity throughout my middle and high school years. Somehow I had filled myself with the mentality that she would always be there, but one day she wasn’t.
Losing a pet is never easy. Even more so, losing a childhood pet as an adult is much more difficult. A lot of us understand these feelings. It happens just as we’re entering our own prime of adulthood. Someone who had always been there for us with zero judgement is suddenly gone, and we’re not quite sure what to do with ourselves. Our childhood pets had been our best friends, playmates, someone to lean on. They were more than just a “pet”. Even calling them a pet doesn’t feel right. They were, and still are in our hearts, family.
I have lost pets before, specifically when I was younger. I feel like saying it was easier then is somehow diminishing their life, but it’s true. As a child, we have a lessened sense of lifespans. Things are easier without stress and worry, so losing something such as our beloved furry friend as a child isn’t as difficult to bear. Losing one that had been there for us in our toughest patches in life so far, though, is something much more difficult.
To say I’m handling this well would be a lie. I’m not. I cry as I write this, and I keep catching myself glancing down to the floor where I know Dutchess had always slept. As I let in my other, younger dogs I catch myself instinctively grabbing an extra treat for Dutchess, even though I told myself not to because she’s not there. It’s natural. My legs are colder at night without her warm touch. I’ve created habits I no longer need.
This isn’t being written for pity, guilt, or sadness (obviously I’m sad… I’m heartbroken, but that’s not the point). I’d like to highlight our furry friends.
These family members, because I won’t just call them pets anymore, are there for us when no one else is. There is an unwavering love that they always have for us. They are hyper aware of our emotions, comforting us exactly when we need it. They are always willing (or maybe not so willing) to hear our rants and problems. They are the best at keeping secrets. They make us laugh when they don’t even mean to. Some of their quirks are our favorite things. When we look into their eyes, there is an unspoken language that does not need words to communicate. Even though we’re now adults, these friends will always bring out the innocent, child-like qualities in all of us.
To all of our furry family members that have crossed the rainbow bridge: We love you. We miss you.
