It's a natural part of life, and we will all experience it at one point. It is inevitable. Death touches the lives of each and every one of us, through friends, family members, and eventually ourselves.
Many have been fortunate enough to have not mourned the loss of a loved one. For those people, consider yourselves blessed. I hope that you continue to seize every opportunity to surround yourself with the people you love and care about as long as possible.
Unfortunately, most of us are not so lucky. This is probably one of the hardest topics I have ever had to write about, most likely because I never thought I would have to from such a personal point of view.
That's ultimately the point, though. We don't go through life thinking about losing the people we care most about, the people who shaped the person we have become. We live life with the assumption that the people we love unconditionally will be there on the other end of a telephone call.
But, as difficult as it is to grieve, there are many things we can take away from losing someone close to our hearts.
It is 100% ok to cry. Many people view crying as a sign of weakness or believe that their loved one wouldn't want us to be sad over their passing. Crying is always an acceptable form of grieving, no matter how strong of a person you believe you are on any given day. Let your guard down; it is ok.
Carpe diem. Seize the day. Yes, this is a bit corny, but it's always good to remind ourselves to make the most of every moment we have. Do things that will make you happy with the people that will make you happy, and avoid those that will bring you down. Life does have an expiration date, and you can't look back one day and have regrets. It will be too late. When someone calls and asks for a ride, for someone to run errands with, or just to come up and say hi, do it.
Don't keep things to yourself. Personally, I think talking about such sensitive and upsetting topics is a burden to others. In this case, it's important to let things out and not bottle them up. There are a lot of emotions that surround losing someone you cared deeply about, and keeping those things to yourself are bound to catch up to you and end up hurting you. Find a friend, a family member, coach, teacher, or even a grief counselor. There are enough people out there that care enough about you that there is bound to be one person with whom to share the thoughts that are upsetting you. Your emotional, psychological, and physical health will thank you eventually.
Family is everything. The most important thing in my life is my family, and the grieving process just confirmed it even more. Being able to surround myself with family during this time made the grieving process less difficult. Every meal and every spare moment you spend with your family not only helps you in the long run but also helps honor the life of your loved one. Telling stories that make you laugh until you cry over a cup of coffee or a meal will ease the process. I promise.
So as Easter rolls around, take a minute to tell those you love just how much you love them. Surprise them with a phone call, a hand written letter, or even just a quick text. It could mean the world to someone.
This year, there will be one less seat at the dinner table. In a few months, there will be one less fan in the stands cheering me on with a bag of lollipops dutifully in hand. In December, the person who loved Christmas more than anything won't be able to celebrate it with me. In two years, there will be one less person at my college graduation. Someday, there will be one less person at my wedding, at my first child's christening, etc. The moments that highlight your life will be just as exciting as you imagined, but there will be just a little something missing.
Rest in peace, Dae Dae. Love you and miss you every day. 3/12/17.
