If you've ever seen the show "Gilmore Girls" then you know just how important Lorelai's morning, afternoon, and evening coffee is to her. As a caffeine addict and a college student, you probably relate to her addiction 100%. At least I know I do. Below I have listed 14 hilarious coffee quotes told by the coffee queen herself, Lorelai Gilmore.
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Be kind to your baristas, they can make you some pretty great drinks. With the temperature rising and the days getting longer, it's approaching the time to find your summer staple to keep you cool (and caffeinated) over the next few months.
Starbucks offers a wide variety of cold beverages that really hit the spot during the summer months, from espresso drinks to fraps, smoothies, teas and refreshers. As a Starbucks barista, I've had the opportunity to taste most drinks on the menu and receive feedback from customers on the do's and don'ts of cold beverages.
While this is not an exhaustive list, I pulled together some of my favorites to give you, the "Ultimate Starbucks Iced Beverage Bucket List for 2017" that you MUST try this season:
1. Pink Drink
Three words: Basic white girl. If you want a photogenic drink that tastes like a Starburst and makes baristas happy, the Pink Drink is for you. It's a pretty simple beverage... this Strawberry Acai Refresher combined with Coconutmilk is sure to satisfy your hipster needs.
2. Iced White Mocha
This sinfully sweet iced espresso drink is not only one of the most popular beverages on the menu, but sure to wake you up at any time of day. Jazz it up by asking for half white chocolate, half mocha sauce, topped with a mocha drizzle, and you've got yourself an Iced Tuxedo Mocha!
3. Doubleshot on Ice
If nothing else, this quick pick-me-up looks classy while giving you the energy boost you need to get through the day. With two shots of espresso, a bit of milk and classic syrup, this drink is easy to enjoy in little time... it's like a caffeine I.V.!
4. Iced Caramel Machiatto
Surprise, surprise... Caramel Machiattos are actually made with vanilla syrup. Nonetheless, these espresso-topped beverages are absolutely delicious at any time of year, but summer calls for ice! Want to change things up? Ask your barista to make it with half vanilla syrup, half toffee nut syrup to make an Iced Salted Caramel Machiatto!
5. Very Berry Hibiscus Refresher
6. Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew
7. Mango Black Tea Lemonade
The Mango Black Tea Lemonade is one of the most popular drinks on the menu. Iced Teavana tea mixed with mango syrup and lemonade makes for the perfect combination
8. Iced Chai Tea Latte
9. Iced Cinnamon Almondmilk Machiatto
The identifying characteristic that makes a macchiato, well, a macchiato is that the espresso shots are poured on top of the milk and flavoring. Starbucks' Iced Cinnamon Almondmilk Machiatto is a combination of cinnamon dolce syrup and almondmilk topped with espresso shots, a caramel drizzle and a cinnamon dolce topping to create a delicious dairy-free option in the macchiato family.
10. Sunset Refresher
This secret menu drink is fairly simple to make with a cool lime base, lemonade, lime slices, and ice topped with black tea. When finished, the drink will have an ombré appearance that makes it totally picture-worthy!
11. Iced Caffè Americano
12. Strawberry Lemonade
Want something cold but not feeling coffee or a frap? Frozen Strawberry Lemonade is definitely worth a try! While this drink is not on the menu, most baristas are happy to make it upon request. Just ask for a combination of strawberry flavoring, lemonade, and ice blended together for a slushie-like beverage!
If you haven't worked in retail, count your blessings. This summer will mark my third official retail job, and let's just say I am less than excited to return to the dreaded retail employee lifestyle. There are so many cons that we have to put up with on the daily, is it even worth the minimum wage salary?
1. Waking up every weekday morning before your shift and contemplating whether the money is worth it
"Is dragging myself out of bed worth my cheque of $500 before taxes?"
3. Having to fake a smile for the entirety of your shift.
And if that isn't bad enough, having your amazing customers remind you to "smile" while you're internally just trying not to lose your shit.
4. Being stuck with the lazy coworkers on your shift
I don't have time to do my job and also teach you how to do yours. Next.
5. And the worst one of all, dealing with the most absurd questions from your customers
No, I won't give you something for free because you have been shopping here for years. I can give you a store credit card, though.
6. Even worse? Having to listen to the weirdest stories from your customers
I once had a customer narrate her entire infidelity and divorce story to me, and I awkwardly had to sympathize while just trying to print her papers. At one point she reached over the register and tried hugging me. Not a fun time.
7. Being yelled at during rush times when you're trying your best
Yes, lady, I understand the line is long. But you're going to have to wait on it just like everyone else. I'm not going to roll out a special expedited red carpet for you.
8. Explaining something to a customer and receiving the "Can I talk to your manager?" bit every time
Everything I am telling you was taught to me by my, surprise, manager! But I guess the arguing is worth it when we laugh about the whole thing in the break room later.
9. Constantly having to clean up mysterious messes
Maybe it's because my parents raised me better, but whenever I go shopping I try to refrain from making a mess. Customers I have encountered, however, seem to enjoy messing up everything they come in contact with.
10. I'm sorry that your coupon is expired
I really am. But I guarantee you, no matter how many times I scan your coupon, it will not work.
11. Customers assuming that you know every damn thing
I once had a customer ask me if I knew who the CEO of my employer was, and when I said no, he told me I needed to do "my research." Yes, thank you, I'll be researching all right — on how to get the heck out of this place.
12. Not being informed of how much math goes into the job
All the math I have learned, all the way up to Calculus 2, magically disappears from my mind when I'm at the register and need it more than I have ever needed it in my life. Suddenly I don't know how many nickels go in to a dollar.
13. When customers try getting in despite the very large "CLOSED" sign and locked doors
I promise you, no matter how many times you yank at the door and yell at me to open it, I'm not. It's kind of entertaining watching you go at it, though.
P.S. We are required to log off all cash registers immediately after the set closing time, so there is no point of even trying to get in. You can't buy anything.
14. Having to stay over your designated shift
Once I was forced to do a 12-hour shift without being informed of prior because one of my coworkers decided to call out "sick." She also ended up getting fired the following week, but I'mma sip my tea.
15. Talking crap about your workplace with your favorite coworkers
You'll be surprised as to how quickly people can bond over annoying customers and shitty bathrooms. Having great coworkers honestly makes working a billion times more tolerable.
16. The time we dream about all day and look forward to impatiently: when your shift is finally over
Once I clock out and my uniform is off, I am also mentally clocked the fuck out. Whatever chaos is happening is not my problem. Good luck to those clocking in, though.
If you work in retail, kudos to you, because honestly we're really forced to deal with the worst shit on a daily basis, there is no escape. And if you haven't worked in retail, perhaps this helps you gain insight on our nightmarish lives — so if you're mean to your cashiers, cut it out.