One of the biggest questions I asked myself coming back home to New Iberia was, “do I belong here”? It is a question that has seemingly been on my mind all Summer. But I think I have found the answer to that question. I belong wherever my dreams take me.
No, I’m not hating on my small town, but part of me growing up always wanted more. I always dreamed big as a child and was always told I couldn’t or wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t everyone else’s dreams, so it was considered wrong by others. Throughout my life people have wanted to settle down or move, but I wanted much more than that. I didn’t and don’t want the simple life most of my friends have. I always dreamed of going to other places besides my small hometown.
Moving to Lafayette changed things for me. This life I dreamed of wasn’t like I pictured it would be. My world was completely turned upside down when I started music school in the Spring. My dreams even started to fade once things got tough. The things that people once told me started to surface and I started believing in those lies. At times, I kept asking myself what I was doing in a place where everyone was better than me. I didn't see things with the glass half full. I even felt like my dreams were escaping my grasp. What hurt me most was the fact that I couldn’t get myself to do anything my music professors were telling me to do. I felt like an absolute failure. I turned blind and started hating something I loved most. And to be completely honest, I don’t understand how things changed. All I know is that something my professor said sort of clicked. I started to do better. All it took was seeing the show Sweeny Todd and seeing the fire in my voice teacher’s eyes as he performed; that got me hooked to wanting achieve those goals. I started to see things in a new perspective. Vanessa Redgrave once said, “Of course we all come to the theater with baggage. The baggage of our problems, the baggage of our tragedies.; the baggage of being tired. It doesn’t matter what age you are. But if our hearts get opened and released – well that is what theater can do, and does sometimes, and everyone is thankful when that happens”. In that one day, it fueled me to prove everyone wrong that ever doubted me in my hometown. There was no turning back from that point on.
I can truthfully say, my jury was the most defining moment in my life at the end of the 2017 Spring semester. I walked into those big auditorium doors and gave it my all. I wasn’t the shy girl from New Iberia anymore. I wasn’t the girl who never spoke in master class. Which by the way, thank you Mr. Roy for making me speak. Amber actually speaks! I was so much more than that. I was a girl who had dreams and a lot of goals to achieve. I was a girl who finally believed in herself. You can best believe I was a girl who had a love for opera and theater because of her fabulous voice teacher.
For everyone with dreams bigger than your hometowns, don’t look back. Take one step at a time. Shoot for the stars and if you fall, pick yourself up and try again. Look for the good and realize how far you’ve come and how far you must go to achieve your dreams. Look at your baggage in your life and don’t let that break you. Realize how much work there is to be done and work tirelessly to be better than you ever were. I couldn't feel more excited to work even harder next semester. Also, get yourself a base-baritone voice professor that’s half as inspiring and talented as mine. Sorry, you can't have him! And always remember, you are young. Life has been kind to you. You will learn.
