It’s no secret that among black women, hair is a vital part of our everyday lives. Black culture often puts a great deal of value on hair and we often use it to express ourselves. Whether it be weave, braids, permed or natural, many black women consider their hair to be an important aspect of themselves. That being said, you start to understand why it’s a bit of a big deal when you touch our hair without permission. Are we overreacting? Nope, you spend all that time and money and see how you feel. However, when you do touch our hair there’s a few things we’re thinking.

1. "Oh God."

The seconds leading up to someone touching my hair is always in slow motion. It’s actually quite dramatic in my head. Mozart’s Requiem is playing in the background. Angels are looking down from heaven and weeping. My ancestors are ashamed. It’s all very sad.

2. "Not this again."

Before I know it, there’s fingers in my hair once again. Yes, again. Yes, this happens on a regular basis. I don’t know what it is but people love to touch my hair when it’s out. It’s like there’s a mini Shia LaBeouf living in my locks always screaming, “Do it! Just do it!”

3. "Do I know you?"

More often than not, it is someone I'm at least acquainted with touching my hair. That doesn’t make it okay, but still it’s a little less alarming if I know you. However, there is the occasional stranger. That’s the absolute worst because I personally have an internal crisis. Do I scream? Do I cry? Do I run? Usually, it’s none of the above and I just stand in stunned silence.

4. "I feel violated."

I hope this one is self-explanatory. Someone’s hands are in my hair. Unless they’re mine, my hairdresser’s or a family member’s, then this should not be happening. Why is this happening?

5. "I'm angry."

At some point, a rage bubbles inside me like no other. It’s quick, merciless and vengeful. It takes no prisoners. It thrashes like a stormy sea. I’m a warrior ready to go to battle. I’m about to go off and then…

6. "Now I have to fix it."

Then, it’s over and really the only thing I’m worried about is how my hair now looks. I spend a considerable amount of time walking the fine line between curly and frizzy and you’ve just tipped me over to frizzy. Thanks.