The hookup culture is taking over college campuses. It's "normal" to go out each weekend, meet someone new, and take them home with you. The level of commitment is so low that even sending the hookup a text the next day is not necessary. Where did the sanctity of a relationship between two people go? Where did the desire to commit to another person in all ways go? As a freshman in college, I thought that finding someone at a party to get close to for a night would lead me to a long term relationship, but I was wrong. Meeting my boyfriend of two and a half years and getting to know him on a deeper level brought me comfort, love, and never-ending support. Breaking the cycle of hooking up in college and moving back towards long term relationships is so important. Here's why.
Long term relationships provide you with stability, while hookups are ever changing. Having someone constant in your life to be there through triumphs and failures is wonderful. Last week, I found out that I didn't get a job that I applied for. I was pretty devastated, but the night that I found out, my boyfriend cooked me dinner and rubbed my back while I felt sorry for myself. The next day, he told me that he was proud of me for applying and interviewing for the job, and that there would be other jobs. His constant support makes me feel like I am special. A hookup isn't meant to be stable, but at some point, you're going to crave a constant person in your life. Plus a long term relationship means always having someone to go to the movies with or start a new TV show with.
I know lots of college students who think that long term relationships are too hard, and that hookups are easy, so they only have hookups. Then, the hookups become complicated and my long term relationship looks easy as pie. Relationships are hard work, no doubt about it. They require patience and communication and lots of trust. But that doesn't make them not worth it. The positive parts of having a relationship far outweigh the difficulties that may arise in maintaining it. My boyfriend and I have had more than one conversation about the state of our relationship and have had fights about it. But we've come out stronger and better from these conversations purely because we communicated and worked through them.
Hookups never allow for you to get to know the person that you're sharing intimate moments with. You are doing something usually reserved for two people who have known each other for a long time and are emotionally close. And if you are being intimate with several people, you're taking away from the specialness when you do decide to settle into a long term relationship. Before I met my boyfriend, I was trying to find someone that I wanted to be intimate with, but I was looking all the wrong places. Having just him to be with is so special because we've gotten to know what each other likes and dislikes.
Next time you think, "long term relationships are too hard/not worth it/tedious/anything negative," and decide you want to go for a hookup instead, keep these thoughts in mind. Maybe by taking yourself off the hookup market and giving yourself a chance to get to know someone more deeply, you'll find something you didn't realize you wanted.
