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Why My Relationship Doesn't Give Me Butterflies Anymore

Our kisses are no longer passionate, but more loving and comforting, and consist of small pecks to say many different things

Emily Tague

Jul 19, 2017

Ball State University

10855

Why My Relationship Doesn't Give Me Butterflies Anymore

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As long as I have been on social media, I keep seeing posts about how people should look for someone who "never stops giving them butterflies" or someone you "always feel sparks for," because they are under the impression that long term relationships are a result of never ending romantic love, and never ending butterflies and nervousness.

But after 4 years with one man, I roll my eyes at those posts, because they could not be further from the truth. Any person who has been in a long term relationship will tell you as much.

Long term relationships become about companionship and comfort.

One month into my relationship with my fiance, I was all nerves and butterflies and mushy-gushy lovey notes and trying to impress each other every day. Now, my fiance is my best friend. Every good and bad thing that happens in my life, he is the first person I want to talk to about it. He is always the person I want to talk to. When I think of comfort, I think of sitting on my couch watching TV snuggled up with him and one of my cats.

Romantic love does not last. Romantic love shifts into companionate love over time. Instead of always wanting to be together and always be kissing and holding hands and hugging, you just want to enjoy a night in together binge-ing The Office. You go from always going on dates to nice restaurants and shopping, to watching shows together and playing with animals together.

Our kisses are no longer passionate, but more loving and comforting, and consist of small pecks to say many different things. Instead of texting each other all day every day, exchanging long loving text messages full of emojis, our texts mostly consist of funny memes and texts saying we got to work and school safe.

I have never been more comfortable than I am when I am with my fiance. We are not in romantic love anymore. We are best friends and life partners. I don't feel butterflies in my stomach when I see him, I feel like I just drank warm coffee on a cold day. I don't get nervous to see him, I get excited because I get to spend another day with my best friend.

Long term relationships are some of the most amazing things I've ever seen, and nothing will ever compare to any of the feelings of comfort my fiance brings to me. The feelings are indescribable. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Why My Relationship Doesn't Give Me Butterflies Anymore

Our kisses are no longer passionate, but more loving and comforting, and consist of small pecks to say many different things

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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