Growing up isn't easy – having to do it with siblings is even harder. I would know – I have an older sister and a younger brother, separated from both of them by a year and a half; a literal middle child.
In childhood and adolescence, there was definitely a pros and cons kind of vibe. On one hand, we found ourselves constantly living in each other's shadows, competing to be the one that Mom and Dad bragged about to their friends. But on the other hand, we were each other's playmates and support systems. I always had someone to help me with my math homework and to share inside jokes with.
I'll admit, we didn't always get along at home. We spent more time bickering than getting along (as most siblings would). It seemed to hit me a little harder because I remember that, at one point in high school, I wanted nothing more than to move away to college to get away from my "more-personable-than-me" sister and "smarter-than-me" brother. Their shadows became overbearing, and I felt suffocated by the expectations I held for myself to be just as well versed and academically accomplished as my siblings.
Unfortunately, I got my wish. I ended up choosing a school over 600 miles away from my sister and brother, split by one too many state lines. Seeing them every day after school turned into seeing their faces in Instagram posts and hearing their voices on FaceTime calls. Most "Happy Birthdays" were wished on an Internet timeline rather than witnessed in person through a candle blowing. It got harder to keep up with each other's academically achievements, social involvements and love lives, and, honestly, Facebook updates just didn't cut it.
Just like before, it hit me pretty hard; I felt more than just physical distance from them. They seemed more like strangers to me as time went on. I started missing them every day and tearing up at the thought of having to wait until Christmastime or spring break to see them. As cheesy as it is to say, distance really did make my heart grow fonder. All those silly arguments, like who got to control the television remote or whose turn it was to do the dishes, seemed so menial in comparison to my desire to spend time with my siblings.
In order to mend these seemingly severed ties, I decided to reach out to my siblings more. I regularly asked about the classes they were taking and what kinds of shenanigans they were getting into on campus. In return, I told them about my favorite club and about my newfound obsession with bubble tea, conveniently located less than five minutes from me. With some time and tons of Snapchat exchanges, we had become closer with one another than we ever were back home.
I may still be holding a grudge over a broken toy or that one time I got hit in the face with a basketball, but parting ways set off a huge switch in me. In my efforts to run away from my siblings, I ended up finding a way to foster a better and stronger bond with them. If anything, college taught me an important lesson that I'm sure I would not have found in my Anatomy & Physiology lectures — growing up in different places didn't have to mean growing apart in our sibling relationship.
To my siblings: You guys make it hard being the middle sibling to a former Notre Dame cheerleader and a bonafide computer genius, but I am so proud to call myself your sister. Thanks for being my best friends. I love you both.
