We've been in a long distance relationship six months now and so we decided to sit down and reflect on how it's been by answering some Q&A's.
Songs:
Can't Help Falling in Love -> Elvis Presley
If I Could Fly -> One Direction
She Will Be Loved -> Maroon 5
It is no secret that many American traditions have changed over time. As we grow older we change in so many ways that it only makes sense that we also change the way we celebrate special occasions. Of course when it comes to the holidays there are some family traditions that many of us still excitedly look forward to, whether it is eating your favorite dish or seeing favorite cousin. However, we all know that the holidays have overall changed a little from what they used to be.
While it may always be shown in holiday movies caroling has actually been on the sharp decline for some time now. According to the Pew Research Center the percentage of people who went caroling as a child dropped by almost half when asked if they were going to continue the tradition. Considering most people don't enjoy singing for strangers, including myself, this change in tradition is one I can understand.
Christmas and New Year gift card
Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash
Besides your dentist or doctor people don't really send christmas cards to extended family and friends anymore. Surprisingly this used to be one of the more popular holiday traditions celebrated in America. Pewforum.org reported an almost 20% decrease in people who sent cards and people who plan to send cards. I personally would love to see this tradition saved considering sending the basic Merry Christmas or Happy Thanksgiving text to friends isn't always sufficient enough.
When I was a kid putting up the christmas tree was a very big deal. It was always huge and extravagant with ornaments of all kinds. This is still a reality for a lot of people but it has become a little less common. Whether it is small and skinny or full and decorated putting up a Christmas tree is still one of the most celebrated traditions.
butter cookies on plate
Photo by Monika Grabkowska on Unsplash
Giving and receiving baked goods for special events is still very mainstream in America but the idea of doing it specifically for the holidays has become less and less popular. If we could try and keep this tradition going I would greatly appreciate it. Baked goods will always be considered a great gift to me.
boy holding Holy Bible
Photo by David Beale on Unsplash
Christmas is already beginning to see Christmas a cultural practice rather than a religious one. This may be the reason that less people plan to attend religious services during the holidays compared to when their were kids. It could also be because your parents at there to wake you up.
Everyone who has done musicals knows that once you go there you can never go back. It's like a virus. It never leaves and you find yourself attracted to all types of theater things. You're drawn to it like a moth to a flame. There are certain things you know to be true, whether you did a musical once or have done them your entire life.
If you happen to mention even one cue word around me, it's likely that I will break into song. It just happens. Nobody else knows what is happening either so don't feel left out.
All of the stage makeup you had to do for every performance is paying off. But, remember to tone it down a bit for off stage.
It's something you have to live with because the lights on stage are bright. If you don't own a collection of foundations then the above gif is the reaction you get.
This is a more rare occurrence but we've all done it a few times. It's okay. It's most likely going to happen after a long run of performances.
Things happen. Some could accidentally get hit with a baseball bat on stage and you have to roll with it.
It's really distracting. Now you understand what your director was talking about when she told the cast millions of times not to touch the curtains.
After that, the most hilarious shenanigans ensue on stage.
How many times can I get him to break character? When will someone notice that I have been doing the macarena for the last five minutes? The possibilities are endless.
You know that each show is drastically different, even if it is the same story.
While you're glad it's over because you don't have to worry about not eating dairy before the show and all of the other little things that come along with being in choir, you're going to miss it. Who else but your cast mates will understand the struggle?
When you come home over Christmas break, it's hard to find fun in your hometown. During the winter, it's hard to find the motivation to go out and find things to do. However, there are plenty of fun things to do in almost any town, and there are tons of fun date ideas that aren't taken advantage of. Here are nine fun winter dates to go on.
The seasonal classic. There's nothing more romantic than falling down in front of your date or showing off your skills if you actually know how to ice skate. It's a fun way to adventure outside your comfort and really get in the Christmas spirit.
Even though it's cold, it's so pretty after it snows. If you can bear the cold, why not take advantage of it? Also, during the winter, the parks are fairly empty, so you can enjoy the snow in peace with your SO.
There's nothing like curling up with a mug of hot chocolate and putting on your favorite movies to spend time together and stay warm.
If you live together, this is a fun seasonal one. It's a cute little bonding activity to do together. If you really want to go all out, you can even go pick out your own tree together.
Whether it's online or at a mall, it's cute to walk around picking out presents for the people that you love with the person that you love.
If there's snow on the ground, then why not go snowing or skiing? Even though sledding is normally just for kids, why not still do it as adults, especially if neither of you ski.
There's nothing more fun than baking with your SO. Not only can you eat what you've made, but it's also something fun to do together.
Have an interest in common, but have never done anything with it before? Why not use the free time that you have over the holidays and try a new hobby?
Whether you drive around neighborhoods to see them, or you go to the mall or the zoo, the lights are so pretty, and some people go all out with their lights.
Christmas is arguably one of the most popular holidays of the year. Whether you think Christmas celebrations should be strictly reserved for December, or you're setting up your tree and lights on November 1st, Christmas time is the best time. Filling an entire month with Christmas activities seems like it could be impossible, but I am here to fix that for you. Here are twenty-five of the best things to do in the twenty-five days leading up to Christmas.
Regardless of how cold it is, building a snowman is one of the best ways to get yourself into the holiday mood.
Baking Christmas cookies and other holiday treats can really bring a family together. Sometimes these are some of the best memories of the holiday season.
If you can find a skating rink where you live, I would definitely suggest giving it a try. Ice skating is always a fun time and also a great date idea.
Seeing a Christmas tree all decorated and lit up in the living room when you get home is a beautiful sight.
Snowball fights are great because they're a fun time but they also let you get out your pent-up anger in a safe way. Great idea, right?
Listening to the fire crackle while sipping hot chocolate? There are few things that are better than that.
I personally think giving a Christmas present to a loved one that I know they'll love is better than any gift I could get, but maybe that's just me.
I love listening to Christmas Carolers and I personally wish there were more people who enjoyed doing this.
Everyone loves ugly Christmas sweaters, right?
It may be cold, but making memories it definitely worth it.
Dancing and running around your house like a maniac while singing as loud as you can is an extremely cathartic activity and I would definitely recommend.
Secret Santa gift exchanges are almost always fun because there's an extra surprise when you don't know who the gift is from.
A house? Made of gingerbread? I'm here for it.
Okay, maybe not these lights from "Stranger Things," because I really hope you don't have to deal with a demagorgon this holiday season, but find a cute street full of lights and go for a drive.
This doesn't even need explaining. Please go visit Santa.
This is by far one of my favorite things to do over the holiday season.
I'm telling you, Christmas lights are one of the absolute best ways to get in the holiday mood.
This is a day well spent, watching Netflix, drinking hot cocoa and eggnog, the perfect day.
Regardless of what people who don't like eggnog say, eggnog is pretty dope.
Christmas music is the best and even better seeing it live.
Present wrapping sucks when you're alone, so invite some friends over and wrap all of your presents together!
I'm partial to Starbucks, but hit up your favorite coffee shop and grab your favorite
I'm terrible at snowboarding, but it is an awesome way to appreciate the outdoors in the cold season.
Above all, the holiday season is the perfect time to spend some quality time with your friends and family.
I've realized that being nice to myself is actually really important.
I'll never forget the day that someone told me these words: "Madison, I think you're a good friend to everyone but yourself." I stood there completely in awe of that statement. Before that day, I never really thought about being a friend to myself, and at the time, I didn't really know what it meant. Now, I realize that you can't fully be there for other people unless you're there for yourself, too. You can't show up for others until you're willing to show up for yourself.
Here are five things everyone should learn in order to be a better friend to themselves. These steps are hard, but they're so worth it.
This is one of the hardest things for me to do. I'm an enneagram 2, for goodness sake — I love to help and I'm happiest when I'm busy. I've realized that I over-commit and burn myself out, simply because I'm afraid of letting other people down. I often worry that if I don't do something, they won't like me.
By no means am I advocating for everyone to walk around and say "no" to everything, but I want to encourage you to be intentional about what you put your time and energy into each day. Pick a few things that you genuinely want to do and commit to them.
I struggle with saying no, but I've come up with two questions to ask myself when an opportunity arises: Do I genuinely want to do this? If not, is there a chance that I might be taking an opportunity away from someone else who does — someone who will do the job just as well, or even better than me?
Too often, we're judged so much on our performance and output that our health often becomes secondary. I hope you know that doing your best and striving for excellence does not mean rejecting your basic needs and overall wellbeing. Doing your best does not mean perfection, and trust me, this is something that I'm very much working on myself.
Just as it's important to set clear expectations in our outside relationships, we have to do the same with ourselves. This might look like allowing yourself to take a nap, even though you have five hours of work left. It might look like showering and getting dressed, even if you don't feel like it. It might mean putting the textbooks away for the night and watching an episode of your favorite Netflix show instead.
Something that's helpful in this endeavor is having friends that actively encourage and hold you accountable to your physical and mental health as well. You can also do this on your own by setting a timer or a schedule. In high school, I had a rule that if I wasn't finished with my work for the day by nine, I would go to bed. Now, I give myself thirty minutes each day to do something that I enjoy that's free of work, whether that be listening to music or going for a walk. It's the little things that end up being the big things — take them seriously.
As an extrovert, I'm someone who adores being around people. I've started realizing that part of being a good friend to myself is setting time to be alone. Being alone used to terrify me — sometimes, it still does. Yet, I've found that setting time each day to do something independently is valuable.
Whether that be writing poetry, browsing Pinterest for inspirational quotes (yes, I'm definitely that girl), or making a quick run to Target, I'm working to incorporate some alone-time into my daily routine. For you, this might look like going for a run or taking yourself out to get your favorite Starbucks drink. For others, this might mean cooking your favorite dinner and binge-watching your favorite show for hours.
If you don't want to schedule out time each day to do something for yourself, you can also pick a certain day each week to treat yourself and enjoy your own company. As strange as it sounds, taking time for yourself is the foundation of your relationships with others. It's not selfish, and quite honestly, it's one of the most selfless things that you can do. I've found that having a clear view of myself has given me greater clarity in my relationships with others. Most importantly, I'm aware of what I bring to the table and no longer tolerate those who don't.
Embracing this truth might mean something different for all of us. For some, it might mean unfollowing accounts on social media that continually make you feel unworthy. It might mean limiting your time on social media. For others, it might mean distancing yourself from others who don't make you the best version of yourself. By all means, be kind and respect them, but realize that you don't need to be everyone's best friend.
You don't have to like everyone, and they don't have to like you. You owe it to yourself to surround with those who are dedicated to your well-being and give you energy instead of taking it from you. As difficult as it is, you can love people and want the best for them but not allow them back into your life. Wish them well, and realize that gaining them isn't worth losing yourself. You owe it to yourself to unfollow your ex or remove yourself from toxic friendships.
The same is true for others. Respect the boundaries that they might put in place, and realize that you don't need to know every detail of their lives, either. Seek out people who continually build you up. These are the people who do deserve a front-row seat to your life. Seek relationships that speak life into your bones and give you a sense of purpose, but realize that these relationships don't define who you are.
Your relationship with yourself takes work, just like your relationships with other people. It's OK if there are moments where you slip up and think that you've failed. Those moments will come, and it's these moments that push you to grow as a person. It's these moments that will ultimately define your character and shape who you hope to be. You are worthy of the love that you so freely give to others — use that truth to advocate for yourself. Live fiercely and do big things, but remember that even if you didn't do these things, you would still be just as wonderful. You don't have to be perfect. I promise, and I'm still learning, too.
You are worthy of every good thing that comes your way. Don't ever forget it.
Songs About Being 17
Grey's Anatomy Quotes
Vine Quotes
4 Leaf Clover
Self Respect
1. Brittany Morgan, National Writer's Society
2. Radhi, SUNY Stony Brook
3. Kristen Haddox, Penn State University
4. Jennifer Kustanovich, SUNY Stony Brook
5. Clare Regelbrugge, University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign
