When it comes to relationships, long distance relationships are always one of the most difficult. Being with someone in person versus seeing them through a screen (Facetime, Skype, etc.) are two completely different things that truly do make a difference. With that being said, it’s not uncommon that the two individuals involved in a potentially long distance relationship contemplate whether or not it’s “worth it” to continue.
I was one of them. Keyword = was.
So for everyone out there who’s unsure if a long distance relationship is the best option, listen closely.
A few years back, I stumbled upon a post on a social media site (I honestly don’t even remember which one). In this post, a teacher asked a group of students whether or not they believed love revolves around a feeling or a choice.
The students all answered that it revolves around a feeling. And this is true.
If you don’t feel anything for your significant other, then that’s obviously a problem. When a relationship first starts out, feeling giddy and nervous are common feelings when meeting up with your significant other. Butterflies seem to be the only thing that occupy your stomach and it seems as if you forget how to speak around the other person. So yes. This is true. Relationships and love do revolve around feelings. At least… they start out this way.
As the relationship progresses on, it is common that you lose this feeling of being giddy and constant nervousness. After a period of time, you become more and more comfortable and relaxed while in the presence of your loved one. For some people, this also means that arguments are becoming more common now that you and your loved one have known each other for an extended period of time. With that being said, some arguments become too much and lead to constant questioning of the relationship.
The teacher then asked the same group of students to ask their parents the same question. All of these adults responded with love being a choice. And after a certain extent of the relationship, it truly is a choice.
Call me naive and say that I don’t TRULY understand what a relationship is because I’m only 19 years old, but I don’t think I’m wrong in this.
Love is a choice.
You choose to love the other person. You choose to continue to choose them, even if you’re feeling upset or mad at them for doing something stupid. You choose to work past their flaws and mistakes and help them progress as an individual and you both as a couple. You choose to find the things that you love about them, even when times are tough and it seems as if nothing can be solved. You choose to love them.
So it starts out as a feeling, but it eventually becomes a choice.
With all of this being said, when I was faced with the dilemma of a long distance relationship, I thought to myself, Do I want to work through the difficulties that are associated with a long distance relationship? Do I want this?
And the answer was simple. I did. And I do.
Long distance relationships are hard, don’t get me wrong. They suck and they’re not ideal. But at the end of the day, what matters is the person I’m in the relationship with. I’m not willing to give that up simply because something, like long distance, is “hard.”
So in that sense, I chose to try and not take the easy route and “give up.”
So this applies to everyone out there who is struggling with their relationship, whether this is due to long distance or not. Remember that it’s your choice and your actions that will dictate the course of your relationship.
If you continue to choose the other person, you won’t lose the butterflies in your stomach that you experienced when you first started dating the other person. Why? Because you’re constantly choosing to find the things that made you fall in love with them in the first place.