Have you ever felt as if you were so alone even though there are people around you? Tweets, emails, and calls might come in but there's an emptiness that comes in and seeps into your soul. It seems nothing can fill the void so you search for something more. Anything that your life can seem it has a purpose.
I've dealt with loneliness and depression for years and I've always felt I was drowning. I never thought life could become any easier. Then I thought, nothing worth having is easy. We might sit in a chair and think, everyone around us has a purpose in life. Some may dance, sing, fight crime or even become an author.
No matter what position you may be in, it's hard to think you, yourself, can have a sense of purpose because we might think, "We're not worth it," or "What good can I do to contribute to the world?"
There are a variety of things we can do but the most important, in my opinion, is to be kind. No matter how mistreated you may be, there are some people that do not deserve your kindness but being civil is imperative.
No matter how high of a position you are or how talented you are, no one will remember what you have done career-wise; people will always remember how you have treated them as a human being. Feeling loneliness is one of the emotions no one should have to feel, but many are.
For me, when I was feeling lonely, I wouldn't talk to many people. I would start fights because I was annoyed and was jealous of those who had a group to hang out with all the time. I did make a mistake and betray a friend but I did apologize and even though that friend won't talk to me anymore, there's nothing I can do but move on.
I'm going to try to be aware of what I'm saying or my actions but there's more that I should be doing than worrying about who to befriend.
The loneliness part in me also did not want to do much of anything. I didn't feel like studying or socializing but I did it anyway. I'm writing for three different mediums here on campus, I'm doing Pink Gloves Boxing and I'm on the ultimate frisbee team. I'm also running for something that I can't disclose right at this moment because I might jinx it.
What I've learned about loneliness, isn't to distance myself even further but try and socialize with others and figure out what hobbies I can do to get my mind off of any drama in my life.
By coming out of my comfort zone, I've found hobbies I really enjoy and can release any stress that I have. It's more about discovering myself, as cheesy as that sounds, but it's true. If I was in the same dark spot day after day, I'd be unhappy and I don't want that for myself.
I have decided that I'm in college, have a mind of my own and would rather be kind to people even if they aren't to me. It shows who they are, not me.
