I am an international student at Mount Holyoke College. And like many others, I live in a dorm on campus. I am a Pakistani, and I live with an Indian.
Before we got to know each other, we had various pre-conceived notions of “the other” and held certain biases, that are still a part of our social narratives back home; both in Pakistan and in India. However over multiple late night conversations, movie nights, and Maggi, we came to the conclusion that “Hey, we really aren’t enemies, propaganda is just lame and stupid, and you are my sister,” as quoted by my wonderful roommate herself.
I reflect back on the day we moved in and started unpacking. When she took her Rajma Chawal ready to cook packs out and placed them on the shelves, along with her three favorite Ganesh idols. And when I put up a Pakistani hundred-rupee note on the wall - which I had found in my hang bag earlier – as a reminder of home, and folded my Janamaaz once again and put it in the upper drawer.I still remember her asking me very enthusiastically, “Is that a Pakistani note? Woah!” I answered yes, and she took out an Indian five-rupee note and said, “these ones are rare in India, the five rupee ones. Look. You know how yours has Jinnah? Ours has Gandhi.” This caused us to touch upon various topics such as nationalism, ideas of a father of a nation, religion in politics, anti-India/anti-Pakistan propaganda, and the biased/re-written histories. Success story: we also managed to talk about the Kargil war – in a very civilized manner – we opened up various theories and beliefs associated with each side of the border.
I initially thought that maybe at some point, we may end up disagreeing upon something and an ideological conflict may arise. However, that was never the case. She is the one I come home to, she is the one who knows about all my plans, and she is the one who says to me “you are home,” and then asks, “Tooba, does this outfit look good on me?” and sometimes also complains, “Oh my god! You are such a mom!” She is family. But that is when I raise the question, that despite all of this, why am I told that she is the enemy? And why is she told, that I am the enemy? I do not understand.
The most cherished moments are the ones in which we exchange various habits and practices. For example, I still remember the time she was working on an essay and said, “Haye Allah!” and the time I asked another friend of mine, “Main sundar lagrahi hoon?” not khoobsurat, but, sundar. We also manage to get through Indo-Pak cricket matches together! Although, honestly this has recently been hard for me due to the Pakistani cricket team’s weak performances, but on the bright side, she appreciates and admires my love for Afridi, and she calls him “a legend.” And I have also finally learned to appreciate Kohli. I am now a big fan of Indian masala ramen noodles, and she is an even bigger one of Pakistani Hashmi Kajal, because “film star Rekha uses it! She orders packs from Karachi!” as quoted by my roommate. All of these events and experiences make me realize that even despite our differences, we can share a space and learn from each other.
Even today, time-by-time, the same thought occurs in my mind – here I am, in a small 170 sq. ft. room, in which both Pakistan and India reside.
