I don't know how else to start this article but by saying, I'm okay. I say this because that's honestly how I've started every morning for the past 3 years. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder second semester of my freshman year and I didn't tell anyone. I secretly went to therapy and late night yoga at my school's gym to calm my nerves and power through this "thing" I was dealing with myself. I've never been one to depend on people when I was sick or hurting. I learned this from years of playing football, you rub dirt on it and keep it moving. Through concussions, rib injuries, and knee injuries I hurdled over obstacles left and right, but I couldn't hurdle this one by rubbing dirt on it.

My first big attack was the summer before freshman year. I was in Boston with my grandmother and I just felt this need to get clean, so I almost made it to the shower and I immediately collapsed on the floor. My heart started beating really fast, my fingers were going numb and I felt like I couldn't breathe (as I write this I feel really anxious just remembering my first major attack). After that event I didn't know how to feel. The doctor said I had a panic attack and couldn't determine the origin. It freaked me out more that I was laid in a hospital bed and I felt so helpless.

If you don't know what an anxiety disorder is, it's not easy to explain. It's like be nervous all the time, and having nothing to worry about. Anxiety is like being constricted by your own mind. Anxiety is like fighting yourself but there's no winner. I've had anxiety attacks almost everywhere the last three years, and my family knows about maybe 3. I mean we're talking bus rides, walking to class, Fraternity meetings, in the bathroom, in parties, in the shower; I think you get the point. These attacks are random and I've learned to deal with them, but everyone's situation is different.

Going to both group and individual therapy for about a year and a half now has really helped me find my inner peace with what I have. Some people would say that anxiety is all in your head it's something easy to get over, but people have got to understand situations are extremely different. There's this stigma in the African -American community that if you're a tad different than the majority, you become an outsider and we must change that in our community. The fear of the unknown trifles us all and if we come together as not just a community, but as a whole. We can fight the stigma that not all mental illnesses are important. I've been living with this for a long time and only a few people know about it. I'm writing this to show that my illness does not control me, and that I have a hold on it.

This article is short because I honestly just wanted to share my story with you guys. It's been hard for me to actually verbalize what I've been going through and my best form of expression is writing, so here you go.

Make sure to follow me on all forms of social media for more cool shenanigans. I also put a helpful article if you feel like you suffer from anxiety. The better you know about it the better you can tackle it.

(http://www.helpguide.org/home-pages/anxiety.htm)

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