Throughout my life and still to this day, one of my biggest insecurities has been living with dark skin. I'm not alone in this. It's no secret that black children, especially those with dark skin, have struggled with self-acceptance and having low self-esteem. It's honestly one of the most heart-breaking things to have to hear, and it's even worse to have to deal with. As a person of color, one thing you try to stray away from when you're the minority in a group is race. It's somewhat miraculous, that when you're the only representative of your race in a group, you're expected to become an expert on all things race-related. It's almost acceptable when people are genuinely interested in understanding your culture, but it becomes really aggravating when you get back-handed compliments, and less than spectacular remarks. This works the same with being the only person with dark skin in a group.
Let me explain. As someone who has lived with dark-skin my whole life, I don't want to hear you tell me "You're cute for a dark guy," "Being dark isn't that bad," "I don't date dark guys," or " If I stay in the sun any longer I'll be your color." Equally, the jokes along the lines of "smile so I can see you in pictures," "it's so dark outside you almost blend in," or "if you get any more black you'll be purple" are played out and aren't funny. I know I personally don't like hearing them, and though many of us won't say anything, they actually hurt a lot more than what you know. Throughout our history, people have often equated being dark to being ugly. If you're not familiar with this, then look no further than television representation. I know that when I grew up I never saw someone who looked like me on tv. I never saw a black superhero save the day nor did I see a black Prince Charming come in and rescue the princess. Now, recently movies and TV have made strides in being more diverse in their castings, but we are still vastly underrepresented. When you see black models on billboards, and see black actors on television they usually have a nice brown look or have light skin. If you see people with dark skin they're usually in subservient roles, such as maids, gardeners, nannies, and cooks. In very few instances, have you seen them serve in roles such as doctors, lawyers, politicians, and CEOs. This only goes to show that our representation in the world of media is small.
When you have dark skin, you basically have to go your whole life with people always looking at you thinking you're a certain way just because of the way you look. Being dark equates to being poor, uneducated, and of a lower class in the eyes of the world almost subconsciously. The darker the skin you have the more you have to do to try and blend in. You want to be just like everyone else in anyway possible. So many young people all over the world have resorted to using skin-lightening creams, or trying new and almost degrading cosmetic laser surgeries to try and become more like everyone else. You're subject to changing you're personality to try and white-wash it as much as possible. What I've learned through my years of struggling with self-acceptance is that we should not see being dark as being a burden, but as a gift. Not many people will understand what we struggle with, but our battle to love the skin we're in is won when we see ourselves as actually worthy.
I think my words can best be described in this video from Buzzfeed.
Dark skin isn't a burden nor is it an excuse to beat down on yourself. Appreciate yourself, and you will go far. You were made in an image of perfection. You'll find yours self-acceptance when you stop trying to find validation in others and see it in yourself.
