When you finally escape the grasp of on-campus housing requirements, you're free to explore a world of possibilities and choices of where to live for the rest of your college career. Maybe the roommate you were assigned was kick ass and you're now besties for the resties. Maybe the roommate you were assigned was a combination of Ramsay Bolton and Joffrey Lannister. But, now you have the decision to take them with you on your path of independence or ditch them completely. What's beautiful is that you can choose your new roommates, but the thing you can't choose is who they date. And this is what your life will be like when you live with couples.
1. Arguments
Look mate, you're never going to win an argument in this household. It will always be them against you. Sure, one of them might take your side when they admit their partner is being irrational, but they're still a team, so even though they say they're on your side, you're still flying solo in this fight that you're always going to be outnumbered in.
2. Bathrooms
As a majority, we're all a bunch of struggling college kids. Whenever we look for houses, we end up using living rooms and kitchens as bedrooms. It's accepted that bathrooms are limited wherever you live. Usually sharing with a single person isn't too much of a problem. It's easier to confront one person about leaving a mess on the counters than multiple people. When it's their turn to clean the sink, tub, and toilet, they have each other to help, but you're left standing there knee deep in gunk that doesn't belong to you, all alone and afraid in the bathroom. And at one point, you're going to take a shower, and as you rub the shampoo in to your hair, you're going to all of a sudden stop and wonder, "Wait...have they...together...in here...?"
3. Food
Oh man, that chicken parmesan sure does smell good. Haha, none for you peasant. You can eat a cup of ramen in the corner by yourself like the loser that you are. Hey, it's the anniversary of the first time we held hands in a park on a Thursday, so obviously we have to go to dinner to celebrate this meaningless anniversary. We're going to that restaurant you love. We can't tell you that you can't go there, but if we see you, you're paying the whole utility bill for the month for ruining our special night.
4. Pictures
Oh, you're a business major? Cool, well now you're a professional photographer. You're kind of invited to hang out with us, but really you're here to make sure we have something to put in our coffee table photo album. Yes, I suppose we can take pictures of you too, but don't be a burden. We will, however, need a picture with you so we can post on our mutual Instagram page how appreciative we are of the pictures you take, but you better hope it at least gets at least 180 likes or it's getting deleted and you're getting blocked.
5. PDA
Literally the worst. You might think you love watching silly rom coms in your living room with your friends, but just wait until they think every cheesy line about love is related to their relationship and they start mounting each other like a pack of buffalo. You love your friends until they drop you the hint and you find yourself driving around the neighborhood for an hour until you're allowed to come back home. If you do decide to live with a couple and you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night thinking you're getting robbed, don't worry. What you heard is someone breaking in. But, not into your house.
If for some reason my roommates happen to read this, just remember I want blush roses at my funeral.
