Every day, I struggle.

When growing up, I knew that I was different, that my chemical imbalance would cause me to react differently than other children. I never wanted this. I honestly dread having to deal with this, and some days I struggle to get up and deal with my inner emotional turmoil.

Being bipolar, and not like South Carolina's weather, can really impact your life.

I felt the need to be perfect growing up, because I knew that I was judged in ways that others weren't, especially mentally. Most believe that college is one of the hardest things to get through, but unfortunately, the stress of it all causes me to implode here and there, but I am grateful to be able to go to college whereas some people have truly disabling disorders that prevent them from even imagining college.

I have learned that while younger, I immersed myself in self hatred, in feeling that I would never be able to achieve my goals because the voice inside of my head told me that I wouldn't. Freshman year was the hardest year of my life. I had to leave my home, go to somewhere where I knew no one, and yes I know this is like everyone else, but remembering when I was a child and everyone not understanding my reactions scared me.

I was scared to be alone and in a whole new world where nobody was prepared for how I may respond. I fly off the handle, I'll admit it, I tend to scream, overreact, and judge people and myself too harshly, but I am trying to overcome this. Being bipolar may have changed my life, and made it harder for me to become the woman I am today, but it showed me the inner strength and beauty behind my circumstances.

I am a voice in a crowd of people that sleep to get away from their thoughts and agony. I am a voice in a world that may never understand we aren't "normal" but we do have feelings, we hurt, we live, we cry, we smile, but most importantly we overcome. I am strong because I have been weak. I smile because I have cried countless times over being held back by something I cannot control and I survived. I love because I know what hating yourself and others can do. I may live with a disorder that caused me pain, but I live because I learned that there is only one me and I was meant to be this way.