Anxiety is something that a lot of people have, but a lot of others don't understand. Living with anxiety is like being stuck in a lightning storm with no control over how much you get rained on. Anxiety is depression, anxiety is fear, anxiety is stress, and anxiety is not controllable.
First off, those that struggle with anxiety never really get a break or get to decide when anxiety can take over. Sometimes I'll be wide awake at an ungodly hour just because of my anxiety, and tonight will be no exception. If I'm alone, I'll start shaking so badly that I start to sweat profusely and then my brain runs free. Thousands of thoughts fluster my brain and I start to feel a heavy weight on my chest. I'll start to become a hypochondriac if I think something is wrong with me, or I'll start to cry out, so much so that my tears could fill a bucket. I'll be stuck wide awake with the mindset that my life is crashing to pieces, and there's no way to escape. This is what a normal panic attack is like for me. I'll need constant reassurance from my friends or parents to calm me down, even if it just stops the tears. This is what I live with every day, along with thousands of other people...it's our new normal.
My brain constantly convinces me that everything in my life is wrong and that nothing is going the way it should be. I always have to expect that the worse is happening when really my life is fine. Another piece of anxiety for me is that I can be surrounded by a lot of people and still feel completely alone. Sometimes I can force myself to believe that everything will be OK, but most of the time I can't control it. Being in a safe place surrounded by safe people is what gets me through, but I will never be without anxiety.
People who have anxiety may come across as being 'crazy', or 'insane' but we can't control it. One piece of advice to people who don't get it: we are normal human beings, we just need some patience from you, and everything will be OK after the attack is over. We may need our space for a minute but we will always need a support system. All you have to do is ask if we're OK, or what we may need.
We feel better in the company of our pets, our family, and most importantly our friends who go through the same thing. For those of you going through the exact same experience, know you're not alone by any means. Get yourself the help and the support you need to get through, and always know there's help right around the corner. Buy yourself some coloring books, and get to know some simple breathing exercises for when you do have attacks. For everyone reading this who doesn't have anxiety: be a good friend to those around you, have patience, understand that we will be OK, and always be a great support system.
Cela Passera Aussi... This Too Shall Pass
XOXO,
Sophia
