It's been two months since I've been diagnosed with anxiety, but it's been one year since I spiraled out of control. It's been a lifetime of having people to tell me to "just relax."
People think that living with anxiety is just worrying, but it's so much more than that.
It's the leg bouncing, the constant jitters.
It's dizziness and lightheadedness.
It's the constant stomach aches.
It's the racing heart and sweaty palms.
It's having to cancel plans because you think if you go you'll die.
It's not being able to fall asleep because your mind won't stop racing.
It's the panic attacks that literally bring you to your knees.
It's constantly apologizing because you always fear you did or said something wrong.
It's being unable to focus. It's not being able to catch your breath.
It's the tears that roll down your face because you can't even begin to put into words what you are feeling.
It's feeling like your good isn't good enough.
It's striving for unrealistic expectations, not accepting anything but perfection.
It's realizing that you need help and having people judge you for it.
Yes, I am an extremely happy person. There is nothing wrong with my life, but yet I still suffer from anxiety.
Being anxious or depressed isn't something a person can will away. Mental health is just like physical health, it needs to be recognized and treated. A person's suffering is ambiguous, you can't decide whether they are suffering or not. Everyone has a different threshold for pain and suffering. So the next time you think anxiety is just worrying or depression is just being sad, please recognize that if the person suffering could just stop worrying or being sad, they would. Anxiety and depression are illnesses that are becoming more and more common, it's time we realize how far empathy and understanding can go. Mental health is something that can be managed but it will never go away so love the people suffering a little more on their bad days rather than judging them.
