My first bad reaction with peanut butter was when I was about 3. We had just gotten back from Disney so my mom had just changed purses which had an EPI pen in it. My mom asked the other mother "Is there any peanuts in the cookies?" and the lady responded "Nope, I made them!" My mom watched the entire thing, the cookie really only touched my lip, I had not even bitten into it yet and I started getting sick. Everywhere I would get sick on my body, I would break out in hives. We later found out they were PEANUT BUTTER cookies... (I know, its the same as that crazy new commercial but I cant make this stuff up) With doctors and way to much medicine I was left knowing how severe my allergy was. I have been to doctors and done a "challenge" where I am in a room of doctors and they feed my peanut butter and see what happens (I know I sound like a test rat). After challenges and many allergy tests later they discovered that I was allergic to the meat of the peanut. Peanut oil was fine, but any tree nut, peanuts, or peanut butter would cause a reaction.

I can tell you what peanut butter smells like, looks like, and tastes like, and I am honestly so grateful for that and it is 100% of my family. When I was in 1st grade another kid in my class had a peanut allergy. The mom contacted my mom about starting "a peanut free lunch table"... Kim shut that idea down real fast. She always felt like I needed to be around it and exposed to it or I could stumble upon it and end up really sick.... Someone told her "it is like having a loaded gun in our house".... My parents have eaten peanut butter and jelly in front of me my entire life. Their favorite restaurant is Texas Road House (at least they always bring back rolls) manly for the peanuts.. but I am so grateful they do opening eat it around me because It made me a more cautious person.

My reaction is so bad when I was in 8th grade I put my head down on a desk at school & took a nap (worlds best student, I know) and when I woke up my face was so swollen I couldn't even open my eyes. I later found out there was peanut butter cracker residue on the desk from someone else. That was probably one of my more embarrassing stories but there are quite a few just like that one.

I dont usually tell people I am allergic to anything because I see how much most people freak out because that does sound scary…but because of my family I know to be cautious. I always watch if someone is eating peanut butter what they touched, where they put it and where any utensils are so I know to stay away. Thats probably why my mind is always going a million miles a minute. I was taught that this was my problem, and the world wasn't ever going to cater to me, so I have to cater to it, and I am 100% okay with that. Whenever I do have to bring up my allergy I always get so weird because I am so used to it but most people aren't. The way people react and freak out is usually the only time I actually get anxiety about it.

Bottom line is food allergies are a serious thing and can truly make a person think a different way, but by no means does that mean I want you to change a single thing you are doing for me. Truly imagine living knowing that one thing that you could accidentally eat could stop you from breathing & could lead to death… thats some pretty dramatic stuff but it is honestly the truth. I do have that fear and I will probably always be the weird girl that NEVER eats the snacks that coworkers/classmates bring in for treats. I will never be the girl to share my snacks or drinks with you. I am not the girl that can just go up and kiss anyone before casually trying to ask what they have eaten that day…. but guess what that makes me, me.