As we grow older, it seems as though we feel more obligated to live up to society's stereotypes. It’s funny because we spend so much of our teenage years learning about stereotypes, and how they do not define the people they represent, yet we succumb to the expectations every day of our lives. Take me, for example: I’m a 19 year old, Asian, female, engineer in a sorority. The stereotypes and standards are set up left and right.
Being a college student, society sees us as reckless. People imagine college as a time of rebellion and experimentation. A time when we’re trying to “find ourselves.” A time of freedom from the jail we call home. And while all of that may be true, we’re not as reckless as we seem. Yes, we want to experiment but we do, in fact, have this thing called a conscience that stops us from doing the idiotic things we’re stereotyped to do.
However, when there’s this expectation of us to go out and party every night of the week, we become tempted because when we turn down a night out at the “hottest party” in town, are we really college students at all? Actually, yes, we are. We’re in college for our education. And while we say we would rather remember the nights we spent with our friends than the nights we spent studying for an exam we’re destined to fail, we know what our tuition is going towards, and that’s the ultimate goal.
As a female, we’re expected to wear makeup, tight pants, and please whoever comes our way. But, then, we’re also told to stand up for ourselves, and not conform to the traditional ideals of being female. So where exactly does that put us? Try to look pretty, and people see us as the typical woman. Dress for comfort, and people call us slobs. Decide to take a stand for who we are, and people tell us we’re out of place. It’s as though there’s no middle ground, and there’s no normal. So what’s a girl to do? Well, we’ve learned to just pick a side and deal with everything that comes along the way.
Being Asian, there’s a lot expected, not just of myself but also my family. Asians are known for being naturally skilled in math and sciences, and as I entered high school and approached college, I realized that while I very much enjoyed math and science, I didn’t have much of a natural talent for either subject. I just learned to work hard and people perceived it as a natural talent. And as much as I tried to tell them, “I just put in a lot of hours studying,” people always respond with, “But you’re Asian. You’re supposed to be good at this stuff.”
When people ask me what my parents do for a living, I can’t help but to be embarrassed when I tell them “My mom works at a bank, and my dad is a machinist.” No, I’m not embarrassed of my parents. I would never be embarrassed of my parents. They’ve worked so hard, coming from Vietnam, to get me where I am today -- all I am is proud of them and honored that they’re my parents. But what I am embarrassed of is this stereotype that gives us these expectations to work for big companies, doing research and bringing in a high income. It’s a stereotype that’s almost turned into a definition of this ethnicity.
When people hear the word engineer, they typically hear nerd, instead. We’re plagued with this image of being awkward and hard to talk to. And quite honestly, it sucks. Not just because people think we’re weird, but also because we think all the other engineers are weird. So to save us the headache of making awkward conversation, we avoid each other altogether -- making us all awkward and hard to talk to.
And then there’s being a sorority girl: only looking to hook up with the hottest guy, only looking to get on the list of the next big frat party, only looking to be the most liked girl on campus. Well, that’s complete BS. Being a member of the Greek community involves supporting every Greek organization, working hard academically to meet a national standard, and building relationships with each and every one of your sisters. But all of that is behind the scenes of the pictures taken at socials and date functions. So society only sees -- and is only willing to see -- the so called rich, spoiled brat sorority girl.
Why not ignore these expectations altogether? Because in the moment of it all, we feel as though we’re the only ones going against standards of society, and that’s a scary thought.
