Cohabiting an apartment room with a roommate is like a relationship. All parties have to uphold their end of the bargain, communicate to each other about what needs to be done, or what is already done, and address anything that's causing trouble. Usually this is all males sharing the apartment, or all females, living together.

In my own experience, I've been a good roommate, and I'm usually holding up my end of the bargain, whether it's dishes, taking out trash or recyclables, or cleaning the apartment. In almost all of the times I've shared a living complex with someone who is not part of my family, it's been with another guy. But as I finished my undergraduate degree at Michigan, my roommate needed to find a couple subletting tenants (couple, since he shared a room with one other person and I had a room to myself). He was able to find a couple, where the main tenant was a woman and the other person moving in was her boyfriend.

My actual roommate made it known to me that the woman was in a relationship and I told him that all was fine with me, since her having a boyfriend actually made my life easier respecting boundaries. I knew what I could and couldn't do. However, cohabiting the apartment with a woman was actually easy, since we just 'did what we usually do' as cohabiting tenants where we cook when we need to, or take care of errands. We left each other our contact information if there were questions or concerns. It was consistent with traditional roommate experiences that I had been through living with guys, but the only difference was, I was living with someone of the opposite sex.

When she and her boyfriend moved in, the first point of emphasis for me was to make them feel comfortable and to let them bring their belongings in. I helped them with some of their own furniture, moving boxes, providing them the parking pass so they can park their car, making space for them in the bathroom so they can have their own sink, or just to answer any questions and help them out.

The three of us got along rather easily since we were all on similar paths, where we were aiming to transition from school to work opportunities. The lady who subleased had just started an internship in Michigan and her boyfriend was studying for the GRE. I was finishing my undergraduate degree and applying for post-graduation employment. Her boyfriend also helped me out with a math assessment component to a job application and I helped him a bit with GRE prep. His GRE preparation helped me as well since I ended up taking the GRE six months later.

We also were all of Asian heritage and we ate similar foods, so we already had that understanding through the food we ate, which was some kind of authentic Chinese stir-fry or home-made dim-sum. Even though we ate on our own terms, and cleaned up after ourselves, occasionally we ate out together. We went out to dinner as a group of three, and while I was the 'third wheel', I was still able to have friendship and enjoy myself with them, enjoy some sushi, and a good buffet.

The experience of living with someone of the opposite sex taught me, in a new way, about maturity, respect, boundaries, and connection. I was more than happy to welcome her into the complex, and the three of us living together was enjoyable because I was able to be respectful and responsible. We understood each other because of our life paths at the time, and by knowing how I could be a positive influence, I was able to be a good roommate and there's not a lot that makes me feel better than knowing that I fulfilled my end of the bargain.