Growing up as the baby of the family, I always looked up to my older brother. Everything he did, I wanted to do, whether it was playing the same sports he played or being a fan of the same teams he was. Whatever it was, I wanted to be just like my big brother.
Everyone in our town knew who my brother was. He was academically at the top of his class. He was very outgoing and lit up every room he walked into with his gleaming smile and goofy personality. In high school, he was being scouted by various D1 schools for baseball as well as excelling in other sports. His name appeared in almost every weekly headline and I almost got tired of seeing his face on the front page of every newspaper. Although I was a bit jealous, I was always proud.
Because he was so successful, everyone in our town knew his name. It was almost as if he was a celebrity. I was happy for him, knowing he had given our family a positive name, but I wanted to take part in that. No one knew my name, only his. I was always “Robbie’s little sister.” Very rarely did people refer to me by my name, let alone even know what my name was.
In every high school class, people would recognize our last name and ask about my brother. If I was at one of his sports games, people would stop me and ask me about my brother but nobody took interest in my life. I desired to be noticed like he had always been.
After living in the shadow of my brother for so long, I realized that I was different than him, and that was okay. He had his strengths and I had mine. I was not going to grow up to be a clone of him. I learned I had to make a name for myself. I had to prove I was unique and I could be just as successful as he was, even if I did not beat him at everything. Everything in life became a competition with him. I did not want to be looked to as inferior to him. I was determined to be better. I challenged myself to be noticed and for people to remember me by my name and no longer as the “little sister.”
He was great at sports. He received a full ride to a D1 college for baseball. I was lucky enough to be awarded a partial scholarship to a D2 university for golf. Although technically his offer was greater, we both excelled in our sports and proved ourselves. He was also smart, extremely intelligent. But so was I. In high school I earned a higher GPA than he did, so I always thought I won in that category. Just because the number was higher, I thought, it proved I was smarter than him. I quickly learned that is not the case. I did not have to beat him in order to be seen. All I had to do was work hard, set goals, obtain them, and please myself.
So today, I would like to thank my brother for shaping me into the young woman I am today. I attribute much of my success to him. His guidance and motivation pushed me to be better than the girl I was yesterday, to always strive for greatness, and to never settle. Because he was so determined and accomplished so much, it made me work harder.
I now acknowledge our differences and thrive off of the diversity. I want to thank him for showing me the ropes, because I know I would never be half the sibling he was. He was the guinea pig and made the mistakes, and I got to sit back and learn from them. So thank you for being the older sibling, because I know it is not easy being the role model.
To anyone with an older sibling, I hope you take the time to thank them for letting you live in their shadow, because they were able to direct you and help shape you. It may not have always been fun or easy, but it was definitely worth it.
Above all else, once I take a moment to really think about it, it was never about being better than my brother. The truth is, it has always been about making him proud, and I hope I have done just that.
