Much like thousands of other teenagers, I’m now just over two months into my freshman year of college. Clearly, a lot is different—a new bed, new city, new living conditions, and of course, new friends. I’m still close with my “high school friends" as many call them (even though most have been in my life since I was in elementary school), but our relationships have become very different.
It has been especially hard for me because most all of my "high school friends" went to the same university and are able to continue building their relationships and bonding. Being three hours away from them, it is hard to watch them creating memories and having so much fun all of the time. I am so used to being in that group, too.
Something I have learned is that work has to be put into communicating with each other. You practically have to schedule a time to talk. Text messages are even more sporadic than normal. "Can you FaceTime at 3?" "No, I have class til 5, what about 6:30?" "No, I have a meeting." It's difficult. Talking on the phone and FaceTime has become a totally normal thing. I used to hate talking on the phone. Now, I cherish those conversations and cannot wait to receive a call or FaceTime from my friends, it means so much to me. It’s hard in the sense that we miss each other and want to be closer - obviously. In other ways, it’s really nice to know that you both care enough for each other that you’re wanting to have a real conversation in real time, even if it is over the phone or through a photo on a small phone screen.
It's hard to comprehend that your friends will never fully understand your life or world now. The "new normal". My best friend of 7 years has yet to come to my school and doesn't know what it's like, and that's okay. My best friend of 3 years and I used to hang out every single day . I haven't seen him in almost a month. It'll be another month before I see him again. That's hard to deal with.
I know about their lives from what they have told me, but all I’ve seen of their friends are 10-second Snapchat videos and the short time I spent at the college campus they attend. Our lives are separate both in that we live three hours away from each other, but also in that I have no idea how they are really doing. I used to spend every single day with these people, now the days we get to see each other are very few and far between.
I am not able to fix their problems. They are not able to fix my problems. I cannot drive to Clarksville to go get dinner with her and help her with her homework. I cannot drive to White House to go get tacos with him and talk for hours on end and take ridiculous photos. And they cannot come here to keep me company when I am feeling lonely or sad. This is us learning to be independent, which has seemed to be easier for them, and extremely difficult for me, but like I said, I don't know how they are really doing.
I just miss them terribly, and writing this has helped me come to terms with that. I cannot wait to talk to them face to face rather than over text or FaceTime.
