Feeling kinda funky? No one truly explains that awkward feeling that you get when you're in between missing your high school world and beginning to love college life. After much contemplation, it is what I would like to call...
freshman year ~limbo~
It's super awkward, can be emotional, and leaves you feeling more confused about your life than you did when you sat down in that statistics class. Not sure what's going on in your brain? It's ok because it happens (and is happening) to the best of us. So how do we truly deal with this epidemic that is striking college students everywhere? Put down the pint of Ben and Jerry's and listen up!
The Symptoms
-Feeling guilty about loving the new things you are involved in at college.
-Wishing the best restaurant from your hometown was on campus to bring your dorm friends to.
-Being excited for lunch plans with your ~crush from lecture~ while also wishing your best friend from home was there to vent with you after.
-Sitting down after a great day and tearing while looking at pictures on your wall of great high school memories.
-Calling your family to tell them exciting news about ~college stuff~ and missing the commotion and stories that you used to experience daily.
-Being wildly upset when you can't go home for important events at your high school because of important college events you are involved in and equally excited about.
-Exploring your beautiful campus and loving every moment until you do a double take of someone from back home.
-Living it up on a Thursday/Friday/Saturday/Tuesday (there's no judgment here) night until you hear your go-to party song with your best friends from high school.
The Cause
I attribute it to two main things: FOMO and the phrase, "these are the best four years of your life!"
What's worse than having a bad day at school? Going on social media and seeing all the fabulous things all your "friends" from high school are doing and how much fun they're having. Facebook albums, snap stories, and Instagram pictures are highlight reels. They are a way for us to share the most exciting and highly edited moments of our life that we want our friends who are not with us to be a part of. No one puts the bad things up (unless you have a friend who is an avid finsta-complainer) so it is easy to feel alone in feeling alone. Everyone has bad days and the adjustment period between high school and college is different for everyone. Just know that you are not alone. Opening up to people around you is a sure way to feel better and get closer with ~college pals~
The phrase "the best four years of your life" puts an unfair amount of pressure on making every moment be a scene out of a movie. When it's the weekend and you're in watching Netflix while you hear people outside your window walking to parties, it's easy to feel like you must be doing something wrong. Putting this pressure on yourself inevitably makes things feel either forced or fabricated, so let go and do what makes you happy! If you would rather sit alone in the dining hall for lunch, don't worry about what other people think. Say no to the party if you don't want to go. The best memories can't be planned.
The Cure
Time. For most of us, this is a very challenging and annoying response, yet it is the truth! We want answers, and we want them now. I remember being in college during the first week and feeling more and more irritated with each "small talk" conversation. Where are you from? What's your major? Do you know *insert name of someone you have never heard of*? Do you watch Netflix? Oh my god me too! It sucks, but its a part of the experience. All of the grueling and tedious small talks make the easy going conversations more memorable.
There will be a day where you, once again, sit in the comfortable silence you're missing and where you will be able to be yourself 100% of the time. There will be a point in time where you wake up knowing exactly where you are (because admit it- we have all woken up in a sweat wondering how our bed got so small and why our bedroom looks so different) You will adjust, and even though it sucks, growth is uncomfortable. Ever heard of growing pains? Yup, these are them!
It will all be ok! And we are all feeling it (unless for some reason you have befriended people who are heartless or are robots) and talking about it will just make it easier. Think about it like this. How lucky are you to have a past you can appreciate and a future that is so bright? That is some Hannah Montana level ~living~
