Depression is often thought of as episodic and short-lived. This may be the case for some people. However, many people live with it for years. That's called chronic depression.

I came to the decision to write this article both for myself and for others. Writing about it is therapeutic, yes, but I also want other people to understand that chronic depression, although mild, is hard to deal with.

Here's a glimpse of what I experience. Some days are better than others. I woke up this morning feeling depressed with no apparent cause. I thought to myself: "Seriously? Not again."

I had no reason to be upset. I had a wonderful day yesterday. It was beautiful and sunny, and I spent most of my day outside. I got my favorite drink from Saxbys and went to the gym. I felt energetic and content.

What happened?

Although I felt pretty terrible this morning, I was able to get out of bed, fix myself breakfast, and take my medications. So far, I've been able to act like I usually do. Most people would look at me and assume that I'm feeling fine.

You see, when these random bouts of depression happen, I can usually live normally. I can go to work and study. I can hang out with friends. All of these things just take tons of effort.

Things that are generally enjoyable for me, like exercising, become a chore. I have to distract myself and convince myself that I'm going to be okay eventually, even if I don't believe it.

For a while now, I've felt hopeless about my condition. I've been on medications for as long as I can remember. I may be on medications for the rest of my life because this just isn't going away. It's frustrating to not know how long I'm going to struggle with this.

The worst part is that I tend to blame myself for being depressed. I know my personality probably puts me more at risk for depression: I'm perfectionistic, self-critical, and quiet. I also know, though, that those factors alone can't give me depression.

I've gone through bad times in my life, but even when things are okay again, I'm back to feeling depressed. It's frustrating because even when I'm having fun with friends and feel happy, it's short-lived. My happiness goes away very quickly, and people think I'm not having fun. That's far from true. I can't stop it, and I wish I could.

I couldn't arrive at any other conclusion other than that it was all my fault. I was making it up. I wasn't even sick.

Things changed when I got a diagnosis. My psychiatrist diagnosed me with persistent depressive disorder (PDD), which is also known as dysthymia. After doing research on the disorder, I felt a strange sense of relief. I realized that I wasn't crazy, and my chronic depression definitely wasn't my fault.

I read an article by Francesca Kentish that resonated within me so much that I was close to tears. People with persistent depressive disorder have a mild and long-term form of depression that lasts for at least two years.

I agree that my depression is mild. It's not as bad as it used to be. I used to struggle with severe depression. After getting on medication, I was more stable. I've come a long way, and I'm really happy about that.

It took me a long time to realize, though, that I'm not completely better. Just because my depression is not as bad as it used to be doesn't mean that I'm not struggling.

Kentish describes PDD perfectly: "People with PDD have a standard mood that's just a bit below most people's. It can fluctuate but happy emotions don't tend to be quite as happy."

Basically, no matter how great my life is going or how content I am with my life, something just seems off. I try to force myself out of it but to no avail (trust me, I've tried this multiple times). I distract myself, but at the end of the day I feel exhausted from putting so much effort into everything.

Living this way is exhausting, but somehow I can do it. I'm motivated and determined, and I think these parts of my personality are what keep me going. Focusing on the fact that I have a promising future is comforting. Music and writing get me through the worst moments.

I know my case isn't hopeless. It just feels that way sometimes. After struggling with chronic depression, you begin to tell yourself that this is just how life is going to be. It's a part of life you have to deal with. For a while, I told myself that what I was experiencing was normal and that I was just overreacting.

It's not uncommon for people with PDD to experience major depressive episodes. I've gone through several. Over time, I've learned that recognizing when things are getting bad again is probably the most important part of dealing with chronic depression.

For example, I'm not feeling the greatest today but I keep telling myself that this is temporary. My feelings don't need to have a cause. How I'm feeling isn't invalid because I can't attribute a cause. It's the depression speaking.

One thing I want people to take away from my article is that depression has many forms. Depression can be episodic, chronic, or somewhere in between. I can go through the motions of daily life, but living with depression is still a struggle.

If you know someone who struggles with chronic depression, try your best to understand what they're going through. Ask them what you can do to help. Know that you can't cure them but that you can support them through the good and the bad times.

When they seem particularly sad, they might even deny that there is a problem because their depression feels normal. Some days they may seem "okay" and other days they might hit rock bottom. Be there for them but give them space when they need it.

Living with chronic depression isn't easy. I often get frustrated with myself for not being able to just "snap out of it." I'm already a very self-critical person. Having depression doesn't help with that.

People care about me and love me, even through the bad times. If you are struggling with chronic depression, find a support system. Do the things that make your life a little easier (for me it's playing guitar).

No matter how bad it gets, always remember that you are never alone.