In Broadway's newest hit, Dear Evan Hansen, the main character Evan suffers from social anxiety. Ben Platt, who plays Evan, does a fantastic job at portraying nervous ticks that someone with anxiety goes through when the anxiety is triggered. Some ticks you can notice him doing in the play include stuttering, twiddling of fingers, looking away from who he's communicating with, and messing with his ear. In his main song, "Waving Through A Window," Evan sings about what he is suffering through, which is his struggle with making friends and trying to be someone.

When I first heard the song, I also took some of the lyrics as a metaphor of different aspects with living with anxiety. I can't say for sure that is what the songwriters were going for, but I will say that I was able to take some of the lyrics and connect it with points of my life. I would like to go through all of the lyrics from the song and give my own personal interpretation on what it means. If you haven't heard the song, you can listen to it for free on YouTube.

[Verse 1:]
I've learned to slam on the brake
Before I even turn the key
Before I make the mistake
Before I lead with the worst of me

I instantly felt a connection to this song just from hearing this first verse. The best way I can describe what these lyrics are saying is if I bring in my own personal experiences in life. A lot of times, my anxiety wants to tell me why I shouldn't make a certain decision. Whether it be something as simple as asking someone a small question or asking someone to do something for me, my anxiety thinks of the worst possible outcome. So instead of moving forward and going for what I originally planned to do, I just stop myself to avoid any conflict happening. In the second verse, it continues to talk about this while bringing up other issues with anxiety in just a few lyrics:

[Verse 2:]
Give them no reason to stare
No slipping up if you slip away
So I got nothing to share
No, I got nothing to say

Anxiety can sometimes make a person want to slip away from society just so they can avoid conflict and further anxiety. Evan explains this better in the next verse:

[Pre-Chorus:]
Step out, step out of the sun
If you keep getting burned
Step out, step out of the sun
Because you've learned, because you've learned

The sun is where everyone deserves to be. The sun, in this case, I feel like is another word they use for "life." We all want to be out in life, enjoying it to the fullest. However, someone who lives with anxiety doesn't think that way sometimes. If we just stay out of the sun, we won't have to be hurt by life's obstacles. The second and last lyric refers to times we have stepped into life and come across hard times. Of course, anyone and everyone hates dealing with hard times no matter how big or small. When someone with anxiety deals with a hardship, no matter how big or small, they all seem like a huge deal to them. Whether we said the wrong thing, or made someone upset because of something so little, the world suddenly feels like it's falling apart. So if we just isolate ourselves from others, we feel that it's the best way to make ourselves feel like life is ok.

[Chorus:]
On the outside, always looking in
Will I ever be more than I've always been?
'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass
I'm waving through a window
I try to speak, but nobody can hear
So I wait around for an answer to appear
While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass
I'm waving through a window, oh
Can anybody see, is anybody waving back at me?

Even though stepping out of life and isolating ourselves may feel like we have better control on our life, there is still that voice in the back of our minds telling us that this isn't the true key to happiness. We ignore the voice, but it keeps telling us the honest truth, which is that we need to at least try to go out there one step at a time and live life. We continue to ignore the voice, and hope maybe someone from the outside world around us can tell us what we should do. However, since anxiety is a mental disability and not a physical one, a lot of people around us don't even notice we are suffering. To other's, it may just seem like we are shy or introverts and they don't think much of it. Unless we say something to get help, no one will know we need it.

[Verse 3:]
We start with stars in our eyes
We start believing that we belong
But every sun doesn't rise
And no one tells you where you went wrong

I'll be honest. I had to sit and ponder this verse for a second on what it's saying exactly. Since I mentioned before that the "sun" is a metaphor on "life," I guess it's safe to say that Evan is saying that not everyone's life goes where they want it to be. So what he is probably saying is that sometimes someone with anxiety can have their high points that makes them step into life with full force and positivity. I know I have had those random moments of confidence as well. Even if this seems like it's enough, anxiety will tell us otherwise one way or another. If we trip or slip up on anything while we are having our high points, we take that mistake and overanalyze it and make it a bigger deal than it needs to be. It's enough for us to say "I can't do this" and so we go back to our old habits of isolation.

[Bridge:]
When you're falling in a forest and there's nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound? [x3]
Did I even make a sound?
Did I even make a sound?
It's like I never made a sound
Will I ever make a sound?

This goes back to what I mentioned before about the others around us not noticing that we are suffering. We allow the people we can reach out to walk further away from us when our anxiety slowly gets worse. So when we finally fall and admit defeat, it seems that it's too late.

This isn't true, though. Anxiety can't be cured, but we sure as hell have more control over it than we think. If we just talk to ourselves and stay strong and never give up, we can overcome our hardships. We can overcome those feelings of doubt, those feelings that makes us believe we aren't good enough or we aren't worthy of being loved. Don't be afraid to reach out to people. Don't be afraid to look into medical help. Anxiety feeds off of fear. You need to push past that fear in order to feel better. As I say this, I am honestly speaking to myself. I am 21 years old and I am still struggling to make my anxiety not take control of me. But songs like this, and my loved ones, remind me that I am not alone and I can be happy.

Evan Hansen is a prime example that anyone with a severe anxiety disorder can find happiness and comfort in life even if times get rough. I highly recommend looking into the musical if you haven't already. It is a good reminder to those also struggling with anxiety that you will be found.