Imagine you drive up to your new on-campus apartment and realize that you might as well be on the downed plane from Lost. Completely cut off from the rest of society with the only reminder of it being the sounds of passing cars on the nearby highway. Hell, you can’t even spot your building from the parking lot 20 feet away because there’s a forest between you and your home. It might as well not exist and with that comes unparalleled freedom.

Everyone lives on their own at some point in there life. It is a rite of passage even if it is for a couple of short weeks. I have only been doing it for a few short days but with an incredible lack of social interaction it might as well have been years. Having been an only child my entire life, I am used to being on my own but my residential situation has always involved someone else; whether it be roommates or parents. Now, it is my time to say goodbye to my lifelong safety net and experience the freedom and burden of being on my own. And with it, a kind of bittersweet cabin fever has set in.

Loneliness is prominent yet fixable. Entire days have been spent sticking to the leather couch watching television working up the motivation to fill out job applications. Once the motivation has been acquired and the applications completed I begin the waiting period. Sure, I have an interview next week but that is five full days of potential lack of anything. Occasionally, I do follow ups for the submitted applications in the form of phone calls and finishing assessments so that the damned form will even be considered. But even all that takes up roughly the same amount of time of an episode of Friends, and there is still more than enough time to blow through an entire season of that before the day is out.

Do not get me wrong, I enjoy living on my own. It is a nice, laid back environment knowing that scarcely anyone else lives in the building with me. My biggest worry is that the occasional passerby might look up and see me walking around in my boxers. I contemplate closing the blinds but then the place gets dark so I rationalize, “Screw it” it’s not like they wouldn’t do the same. I can have the TV on until three AM and not have to worry about waking up roommates. I can order insane amounts of Chinese food and not be judged by anyone who isn’t the same but loyal delivery person. Yet there are times I wish people lived among me, socializing. This can feel like self-imposed exile and it swings between better and worse.

I have thought about doing a “Captain’s Log” for the hell of it, something to look back on and show my friends horribly exaggerated things they missed. Maybe get a couple laughs out of it. Maybe not. Probably not. Most likely not doing it. Let’s just forget about that.

Overall, with over a week to go before anyone else arrives to impose apartment rules upon me, I will be desperately looking for a job and trying not to expose myself to anyone who might look up to my window at the wrong time. More than anything I will be seeking out more excitement beyond whether or not Ross and Rachel get together. As for fulfilling the rite of passage of being on my own, it will be interesting to continue phasing into adulthood, even if it is a small step at a time. I mean Christ I’m 20, I gotta do it soon.