What It's Like Living Alone As An Extrovert

What It's Like Living Alone As An Extrovert

Transferring is hard enough, then add living alone to the mix.
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One cool thing about being an extrovert while living alone is nothing, because it sucks.

A short eight months ago, I chose to live alone at a college with 50,000 other students. You may be asking why. The truth is that when I transferred, my worst fear wasn’t about how lonely I would feel, but about sharing a room with a possible caveperson. I decided at that point, sharing the space I breathed while sleeping wasn’t worth the fear of discovering the wheel at 1 am.

On top of living with strangers, I also ruled out the dorms as I would feel elderly in comparison to the new kids in town. It was a stressful month for me, deciding to transfer and still having no place to live. I had a one-month countdown until classes started, so I zeroed in on an apartment for myself. I was excited, but that’s because I figured I’d have kids lined up at the door begging to be friends with me.

About two months in and let me tell you, it doesn’t get better. The excitement faded at this point and all I was left with was an empty refrigerator and the realization that my habit of talking to myself wasn’t going away. I had never felt more alone. It turns out, when you live by yourself, you’re alone for a solid six hours per day. The problem was that I loved being surrounded by my friends.

Before transferring, I spent every day with them. Studying, eating, sleeping and any day to day activity was fair game. Even if it was overkill, it made me happy. I felt like I belonged and most importantly, I had someone else to validate how funny my jokes were. When my social life slowly disappeared, I wasn’t sure how to cope. Granted the loss was my own fault, but I didn’t realize how much it would affect me.

Fall semester passed and I made zero progress on the friendship front. I was doing my best, but it turns out there are a lot of people who don’t laugh at my jokes. The worst part of it all was that I could go an entire day without talking to anyone. If I had a bad day, I didn’t want to talk in my classes, which meant I went home to vent to my seven indoor plants. The only upside was that they didn’t suggest how to fix my problems. It was a constant cycle of loneliness which was as depressing as it sounds. I woke up alone, studied alone and ate six of seven pizza slices alone.

Move out day is rolling in, however, and I’m not ready to leave. It turns out, living alone grows on you when you thought it never would. It’s something I can add to the bucket list that I can actually cross off. I’ve learned what it means to be independent on a level I never thought I would have to. For other extroverts I have only one thing to say: living alone sucks, but it shows you who you are and who you want in your life. I’ve learned a lot by struggling through most of it, and even though I wouldn’t do it again, I am happy to say I am more independent because of it.

Cover Image Credit: Yogi

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The Truth About Young Marriage

Different doesn't mean wrong.
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When I was a kid, I had an exact picture in my mind of what my life was going to look like. I was definitely not the kind of girl who would get married young, before the age of 25, at least.

And let me tell you, I was just as judgmental as that sentence sounds.

I could not wrap my head around people making life-long commitments before they even had an established life. It’s not my fault that I thought this way, because the majority opinion about young marriage in today’s society is not a supportive one. Over the years, it has become the norm to put off marriage until you have an education and an established career. Basically, this means you put off marriage until you learn how to be an adult, instead of using marriage as a foundation to launch into adulthood.

When young couples get married, people will assume that you are having a baby, and they will say that you’re throwing your life away — it’s inevitable.

It’s safe to say that my perspective changed once I signed my marriage certificate at the age of 18. Although marriage is not always easy and getting married at such a young age definitely sets you up for some extra challenges, there is something to be said about entering into marriage and adulthood at the same time.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

Getting married young does not mean giving up your dreams. It means having someone dream your dreams with you. When you get lost along the way, and your dreams and goals seem out of reach, it’s having someone there to point you in the right direction and show you the way back. Despite what people are going to tell you, it definitely doesn’t mean that you are going to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. It simply means that you get to share all of these great adventures with the person you love most in the world.

And trust me, there is nothing better than that. It doesn’t mean that you are already grown up, it means that you have someone to grow with.

You have someone to stick with you through anything from college classes and changing bodies to negative bank account balances.

You have someone to sit on your used furniture with and talk about what you want to do and who you want to be someday.

Then, when someday comes, you get to look back on all of that and realize what a blessing it is to watch someone grow. Even after just one year of marriage, I look back and I am incredibly proud of my husband. I’m proud of the person he has become, and I’m proud of what we have accomplished together. I can’t wait to see what the rest of our lives have in store for us.

“You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So who can say what age you have to be to find your one true love?" — One Tree Hill
Cover Image Credit: Sara Donnelli Photography

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My First Year Of College Wasn’t Great And That’s Okay

I didn’t adjust as well as I thought I would, but I made it.

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Everyone always raves about how much they loved their freshman year of college. The independence, the parties, meeting all these new people from different places. It's a big milestone in your life. But not everyone has an amazing first year. And I'm one of those people.

Don't get me wrong. I was so excited about college. Finally getting to be on my own, experiencing all these new things. I even met people in my class before we moved in. And the first month was a blast...but then it wasn't anymore.

Eventually, I slid into this “funk", you could say. I was depressed. I never wanted to leave my bed. Some nights, I didn't even wanna eat dinner. And soon, my friends noticed but soon just stopped inviting me out.

At first, they still would, even though the answer was always no. But I guess they got bored and tired of me always saying no.

Soon, I didn't feel like I even had any friends and at one point, I even found myself debating going home to avoid being alone in my room all weekend. I would force myself to make plans, but found myself not wanting to go out because I got ignored every time I did. It wasn't worth it.

I was homesick, isolated, and just wanted to fit in.

When the year finally came to an end, I couldn't be happier. But now that it is over and I'm home, I realize how much I miss the people that were there for me. The people that came into my life unexpectedly, but it was hard for me to really recognize they care about me.

I absolutely hated my freshman year of college. Yeah, it started out good and I found my sorority, but I never felt like I was wanted anywhere. I felt so alone. I became so incredibly isolated and distant and it took a drastic toll on me as a person.

But in spite of all that, I realize that maybe that's how it was supposed to happen. Because I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and it will all play out.

This being said, my first year might not have been what I thought or hoped for. But I can truly say I am excited to see what my next year holds.

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