I am terrified of growing up. As a senior in high school I only have a matter of months left, and it just hit me like a slap and I can still feel the sting radiating off of my skin. I have no idea how I am going to survive on my own. I can't even fathom what it is like; I just know my friends who have recently graduated the past year hate it and wish that they could return to the way things were. Granted, I will be in college, so I will not have that much to worry about. It is still scary, regardless.

Mostly, I am scared of living on my own. Honestly, it won't be completely on my own. I will be living with my boyfriend, his brother, and their roommate. My boyfriend will definitely take care of me, that's for sure. He already makes sure that I have everything I need as it is, and I still live with my parents. Maybe I shouldn't be scared. Regardless of whether I should or shouldn't, I am. The main reason I am terrified of "living on my own" is because of what every adult I have ever talked to has said to me. They always say that the world is unfair, that no one every gets what they completely want. This is something that petrifys me when I just think about it because I am huge on everything being fair and precise so that people get what they deserve.

Also, I am scared of going to college. As I await my admission decision to my dream university, I am thinking about whether I will even be able to survive at the school. It is a top notch private school in Richmond, Virginia that prides itself on its academics. Even though I am a straight A student right now, I am worried that I will flunk out of the school. Not because I will party and go to class hungover every morning, I am just not that kind of person, but because I do not know if I will be able to keep up with it academically. I am just hoping that I will be able to discipline myself enough to get the grades I need to stay in the school and, hopefully, graduate in the top ten percent of my class.

Even though I have a month and 19 days left until I am officially an adult, I feel lost. I know what I want to be in life, the school I want to go to and who I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I do not know what the world is going to do to change those plans. If I can't handle the world on my own, then how will I ever be able to hold a career and have a family at the same time? I won't be able to. Also, if I flunk out of college, then how will I ever get into University of Pennsylvania Medical School? I never will.

Although I have worked extremely hard to have the life I have now, I know that any mistake can alter my plans. Honestly, I think that may be what I am the most terrified of.