As finals approach, I feel more and more weak. My immune system isn't holding up and I feel sick and the only thing that fills my thoughts are worry and doubt. I'm basically a big ball of stress this time of year. Regardless of how early I start studying or how high of a grade I already have in a class, finals just make me break down.
Right now, I'm living in defeat. That's all it is. Just defeat.
And the thing is, I don't just do it during finals week. I live a defeated life a lot. When I have a bad day: defeat. When I'm stressed: defeat. When I burn a meal: defeat. It just happens. Worldly things continue to steal my joy over and over and over again.
This past weekend, I was in my car and I had a couple hours left to drive so I decided to just have a little worship session. The first song that came on was all about living victoriously. I drove home in tears because that song opened my eyes to something so important. I, in fact, haven't been living victoriously. I haven't even been living kind of victoriously. I've been living full-on defeated.
WHY? WHY do I live like this? Why do I know so many people who just walk around in human shells and live in defeat? No joy. No life. Just defeat. We've read the end of the Bible. Why would we act as though we don't win the war that we're fighting? We mess up one time and shut down. In Revelations, Jesus comes back and He wins. As believers, we win. We will have bad days but why do those bad days most of the time overrule the good? Why can't we mess up and then think, "You know, that's okay because I'm joyous in the Lord and I'm victorious in Him."
So, here it is: A challenge: The next time, you stress to hard or you're filled with worry or you mess up, think about who wins. Think about how much God did for you to have this victorious life that you aren't even living. Stop living in defeat and remember to live victoriously in Christ.
