The little things hurt the most

It's The Little Things That Mean The Most

Those small memories hurt the most.


My grandfather passed away the summer before my senior year.

I still remember the way those words hit when my dad told me. My grandfather was the perfect picture of health— he had rows of vegetables in his garden, was always lively and was even substitute teaching two weeks before his death. When he passed away, the first thing I thought of was how I'm never going to be able to see or hear him ever again, and it felt surreal.

In the months after his funeral, I tried to think of little things to remember him by. I tried to think about what his hugs felt like or the sound of him playing the piano at every family gathering. I pictured him singing or how his voice perked up when he said: "I am content."

When I started forgetting what all of those little things sounded and felt like, I started to freak out.

I didn't want to forget about someone that made such an impact on my life and someone that was taken from me so quickly. He was loved by any person he came into contact with, and I was lucky enough to be his granddaughter.

Like any person who is grieving, the first few months were really hard for me. Whether it was someone in a bow-tie or an older man singing the bass-line at church, I felt like everything reminded me of him. I just wanted to go a day without thinking of him or how much I miss him.

When I got my first college acceptance letter, I kept thinking about how excited he would be for me. My grandparents have always valued education over everything else and all I wanted to do was tell him my big plans after high school, but I couldn't. He never got to see me graduate or finish my first semester of college and I always wonder what he would say to me if he were alive today. Somedays I never think of him and other times I think about him constantly.

My grandfather passed away almost two years ago and lately everything has reminded me of him. To a man in Mizzou's Chorale Union who looks and acts exactly like him, to the other day when a sunbeam shined on my computer. I even heard someone playing the piano on campus and thought of him. I've recently been doing some really cool things in my college career and I wish I could share with him how excited I am about it.

While sometimes the anniversaries, birthdays and Christmases don't hurt as bad as they used to, the little things still hurt.

While a lot of these memories are sad some of them are happy memories. Knowing that I am going to college and singing in a choir at Mizzou makes me think of how proud he would be of me.

I know everything happens for a reason and that's hard to accept, but sometimes I wish he were still alive.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

I remember the days where closet drinking before going to a party or bar was part of the night's itinerary. It was a requirement to have a good buzz flowing before calling the Uber to take you to that bar where you see everyone from your high school at. The pregames were the best part of the night, but it wasn't ever because of the alcohol, it was because of the atmosphere and those who were in it. The number of times I've heard "Wait, why aren't you drinking tonight? C'mon, get drunk with us" is endless, but think about it. Where were you when you were asked that? You were at the goddamn pregame and being there doesn't mean you need to be ripping shots. Being social doesn't require alcohol.

I asked 20 people how they cut back on alcohol while still being social.

Keep Reading... Show less

Whether you are quarantining away from your significant other because of coronavirus or separated by the country lines at this time, it's fair to say that long-distance relationships are tough no matter what. However, there are ways to show love from a distance whether that's through daily FaceTime calls, cute Snapchats, or sexy pics sent to them on their phone. You can brighten up their day even more with some of these unique gifts that can fit any price range and a variety of interests.

Keep Reading... Show less

Rihanna is known for many things: her music, fashion, makeup, and now skincare. As a makeup artist myself, I can confidently say that she rocked the makeup world when she released her makeup line in 2017 and has been influencing the beauty world ever since.

Trying some of her makeup products myself, I know that she doesn't skimp on quality, and even though some of her products may be a little pricey, trust me, you get what you pay for.

Keep Reading... Show less

Listen, you can do whatever you want with your free time. It's yours to spend and you have free range. However, I hope you recognize that there are a ton of proactive things you can do right now instead of stalking your man's ex – yes, I know you do it becuase we are all guilty of it.

Take this time to research your privilege. There are always new things to learn and ways to deepen your understanding of yourself, this world, and your surroundings. We live in a multi-dimensional, ever-changing society that needs your help and your time. By that, I mean there are so many layers to each and every one of us, and with our physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional selves, we can create real, positive change.

Keep Reading... Show less

Preview These Top Nordstrom Anniversary Sale 2020 Picks — From Luxury Purses To Skincare

Currently 3 million people viewing the Stella McCartney purse I absolutely must have.

Online shopping has been a guilty pleasure of ours for years, but now more than ever it's been a shopping lover's outlet for all our home redecorating projects and resort wear we're purchasing for that trip we had to cancel.

One of my favorite places to (virtually) window shop has always been Nordstrom. I admittedly can't afford to go on sprees there often, but I still get a high off of adding things to my cart I know I'll never actually end up buying. But sometimes, that's not enough — that's when I, like the masses of luxury-, beauty-, fashion-, and decor-lovers around the world count the days down to the annual Nordstrom Anniversary Sale.

Keep Reading... Show less

Friends, no one needs to be reminded that the COVID-19 pandemic rages on in the U.S. Frankly, this is because we have all collectively decided not to do the one simple thing that was asked of us and wear a mask.

I could make this a very boring article, and berate you with facts and statistics and the importance of wearing a mask, but I have opted against that for both of our sakes. Instead, I will attempt to reach you in another way. You might not care about a disapproving look from me, but from Nick Miller? Maybe that will be enough to change your mind.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Things That 'Shameless' Got Wrong About Bipolar Disorder

There is so much more than Ian and Monica lead viewers to believe.

"Shameless" is a hit television series that airs across the world, for my own personal viewing on Netflix. While the show is a major hit, people aren't talking about the issues in the portrayal in the "mental health" category. Ian and Monica are both pretty important characters with bipolar disorder (BD). There are, however, five major flaws with what their bipolar looks like.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments