1. The Only Things You are Going to Read are the Big Texts
Let's face it, you clicked a click-bait listicle. If you really cared at all about the topic, you'd be researching and reading deeply, maybe even reading an actual article. Listicles give you an easy way out. In general, they are simply soundbites in the form of words. You have a small amount of mini headlines to give you a rather inadequate amount of information on a subject, and maybe a few sentences underneath these mini-headlines to explain the topic. You didn't come here to read, you came here to look at the big words and pictures.
2. Listicles Re-Teach you to Read... in a Worse Way.
Do you remember reading picture books, Doctor Suess, or small poems spread across thirty pages with massive pictures as a pre-schooler? Now consider what high-school or college you read: large texts, epic poems, non-fiction, you name it. Would you dare, as a college student, to suggest reading a picture book in your humanities class? No, that's absurd. You've learned to read at a new level and you no longer need short basic sentences and pictures to gain information. So tell me, why on earth would you read articles that convey important information in the same fashion that a pre-schooler reads his or her picture books? This sounds absurd. Do you want a five year old's level of knowledge for news? No! So read normal articles like the capable adult or young adult you are!
3. Listicles Require Minimal Effort for the Writer.
Listicles are killing the art of writing. Picture this, your professor tells you, "Class, for the final paper you have one of two options. One: You can turn in a detailed, well constructed, 7 page paper. Or, Two: You can turn in a seven page list of bullet pointed reasons explaining the prompt, with memes!" You'd probably pick the list, because it's simple, easy, and requires minimal effort. The only way a writer is going to be challenged in writing a listicle is if he or she basically writes enough content within the explanations to create an article if the "mini-headlines" are removed.
4. Too Often Listicles are Just Photo Albums with Witty Captions.
On many major news and entertainment websites the listicles are often filled with a bunch of photos or memes that are captioned by the author. A five year old could do this. Honestly! Give a five year old a picture and say, why is this picture funny? And he or she could probably create a listicle by commenting on his or her thoughts on the pictures he or she is shown. It really isn't that hard. It's simply gathering pictures from around the internet, maybe giving the sources credit, and slapping captions on a bunch of photos, pictures, and screenshots that probably aren't even the author's to begin with.
5. Here It is! The ClickBait! How Shocking!
Odds are, you scrolled right down to number five. Because number five is the sole reason you clicked the article in the first place. You want to be shocked. Be honest, number five probably didn't even shock you. It might even be safe to say that it's interchangeable with the rest of the points in the list. By saying "Number Five will Shock You" in the title, the author is literally just letting out a desperate plea for you or anyone to read his or her article. It's called click "bait" for a reason, it's used to bait you in to reading the article.
6. Beating a Dead Horse.
Chances are, by this point you already have the gist of the point the author is trying to make. In fact by this point the author might seem to be beating a dead horse. You're tired of what the author has to say, and you're probably just scrolling down staring at all the pictures, gifs, and memes.
7. Why Seven? Honestly, Does the Number Really Matter?
Okay, so most of the time on these listicles there is some obscure amount of reasons or points like twenty-three, fourteen, or some other number. Why? Does the number even matter? For me personally, I chose seven because I finished writing, and I was starting to beat a dead horse and seven seemed like enough but not too much. The number is irrelevant, the content is what matters. When viewing listicles ask yourself whether or not the listicle is saying anything that even remotely matters.
