Dear college freshman,
You’re finally becoming a big kid, congrats! Although the priority of your journey in college is to get an education, I can guarantee that you will learn so much more than just that about the world and about yourself within your first month of school. You’re moving to a new place with new people and starting a life that you can call your own. As you can imagine, this isn’t always the easiest transition. So, here are a few little tips from someone who’s been there.
Let your parents linger.
I’m very stubborn and independent, so when my parents helped me unpack the last of my boxes, I was the first to encourage them to begin their journey home. This wasn’t because I didn’t love or appreciate them, but I was really excited to get on with life “on my own.” But, the reality is that no matter how independent you are, there will come a time where you will miss them. So, enjoy them while they’re there. Let your mom organize your sock drawer one last time, let your dad re-hang the mirror against your door, and maybe even let them buy you dinner (because you’ll be broke soon)… In a couple months you’ll have moments where you wish they would still be there to help you.
Make relationships.
Maybe your roommate won’t be your best friend and maybe the girl you met on the first day in chemistry class won’t be your future bridesmaid, but make a conscious effort to meet people nonetheless. College is filled with a variety of people. Get to know them, find people you click with, and discover the people who will be along for the long haul. Also, remember that this isn’t high school anymore and no one is expecting you to hang out with the same crowd that you once did. Be open to allowing people with different backgrounds and views into your life, even if it isn’t someone you think you could “see yourself being friends with.” Everybody you encounter has something you can learn from him or her and, generally, the more different they are from you, the more they can teach you.
If you don’t feel at home right away, don’t sweat it.
Coming from out-of-state, I knew zero people that were heading off to college with me. When I got there, it seemed like everyone already had their established friend groups that followed them from high school or that they managed to lock down within the first week. It really felt like everybody was finding their home at my school before I was. However, I eventually came across friends that I know I’ll have for years to come and that make my school my home. Not all of these people came into my life right away, but the quality of their friendships in my life made them well worth the wait. Don’t get caught up in comparison. Different people take different amounts of time to get adjusted. Yours will come.
Dorms will become something you miss dearly.
When I was looking up places to live I was always searching for the suite style freshman living arrangements as opposed to the jail cell sized bedrooms for two and the dreaded community bathrooms. What I didn’t realize was that I would learn to love sleeping two feet away from my roommate, having late-night hallway powwows with my friends down the hall when we all should’ve been sleeping, and having jam sessions with the girl in the shower next to me because she has shockingly good taste in music. And let’s not forget about the times you might have to help your neighbor kill a cockroach with a broom or deal with the ungodly amount of hair you realize you shed onto your white rug when you clean your room for the first time (it isn’t all glamorous, but it’s all a part of the adventure). So, if you’re not excited about living in traditional dorms, trust me you’ll learn to love them in time. Enjoy every second of them while you still can.
Be unapologetically yourself.
Whatever labels were attached to you in high school are long gone. College is often seen as a time where you can “reinvent yourself.” Although that may be true, it’s also a time where you can be fully yourself and find people who love you for who you really are. Life's a whole lot better when you don't have to worry about trying to fit in with people you don't actually enjoy being around or acting like someone you're not. So, think long and hard about your words and actions at the beginning of this new adventure. Everything you say and do will work towards shaping your image at your new home. Make sure it’s something you’re proud of.
You’re about to get started on some of the best years of your life. This is a time filled with many “firsts,” so enjoy them all. Don’t rush anything because a year from now you’ll be wishing you could do it all over again.
Sincerely,
Someone who’s been there
