We're all humans, which means by definition, we all (and I mean ALL) make mistakes. We might think we're all that and a bag of chips, but when it comes down to it, we have a few things we would 100 percent positively absolutely never ever do again...under any circumstance. Here's a list of my previous (and slightly embarrassing) disasters that I'll never do again:
1. Get a perm
Let's leave this hairstyle where it belongs: in the 80's.
2. Shot race
Unless you're a fan of hugging the toilet all night (and the following morning), stick to mixed drinks.
3. Dip dye my hair with Kool-Aid
This was cool in middle school. I think.
4. Date a jerk
Roses are red. Violets are blue. You were a jerk and I hate you.
5. Eat a salad for dinner just because I didn't want to seem fat ordering a burger
Sometimes, on a rare occasion, I actually want a salad for dinner. But most of the time, I want a burger. A big juicy burger with fries on the side. And a milkshake. Treat yo self.
6. Listen to Skrillex.
"Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites"? My mom was right to be concerned.
7. BUY music
This is 2017. We don't BUY our music. The internet has us covered when it comes to sharing and downloading what we want to hear.
8. Neglect sunscreen just because I wanted to get a tan
In the olden days, being pale meant you were wealthy because it meant you weren't working outside all day long exposing yourself to the sun rays. Instead, you worked indoors while you were fed grapes and sat on a throne of gold. I'm going to pretend that's still what it means, so you can find me indoors eating grapes and watching Netflix.
9. Wear a matching jumpsuit out in public
Unless you're a Cheetah girl, you are absolutely banned from wearing matching sweatpants and sweatshirts out in public. This includes the Juicy Contour jumpsuit that everyone had in the early 2000's.
10. Watch "Ridiculousness"
The show itself isn't half bad. But, HER LAUGH. I can't handle it. It haunts me in my sleep.
11. Eat White Castle
Harold and Kumar themselves couldn't even persuade me to step foot in there.
12. Stick my nose in a Tiki torch
I'm not sure why I did it to begin with: I was young, curious, and apparently, stupid. My nose swelled up like a balloon after a wasp attacked me.
13. Bikram Yoga
Yoga is for certain people, you see. I am not one of those people. Nor will I ever be one of those people.
14. Shop at Aeropostale
There's a reason they declared bankruptcy.
15. Try to wax my own eyebrows
7th grade is a tough time for anyone; especially someone who accidentally shaved one of their eyebrows off.
