Ever since 2010, when the first model of Kia Soul was released, people have been polarized by its outlandish design. Some are allured by its compact and modern construction, while others are vehemently against the idea of driving a lunchbox with wheels. Whichever side of the spectrum you fall on however, everyone can agree that, for the most part, that the Kia Soul is inoffensive, and it has no effect on how we live our lives. I was one of these people until one fateful morning.
I was driving West down the interstate early in the morning, the sun to my back. The road was almost as clear as the sky was, and the summer sun gently kissed the back of my neck. By all accounts, it was a good day. That was when I saw it. Violating my peripheral vision was a wall of green. Not an oceanic blue-green or a warm and earthen forest-green, or even a resplendent emerald. What slid up beside me that day was a Kia Soul coated thickly in an overwhelming shade of mucus green. Not even summer was safe. As the sweet light bounced from the side of the car, it too was mutated into a kale-colored glare. It felt like I was being flashed by a Ninja-Turtle. In that moment I felt the primal urge to strike his car with my own, rolling us into an inferno of metal and glass, if for nothing but to spare the rest of humanity from bearing witness to this atrocity. I fortified my will, however, and pulled through. I tried to bury this experience deep within the cracks and crevices of my mind, but I began to see them everywhere. Office parking lots, campuses, residential areas. Every time I found one, a deep, almost biblical anger swelled inside of me, until I knew what I had to do. It was my mission to show the people what they have been living with. To awaken the proletariat to the ocean of visual injustice which has been forced upon them, and that is what I am here to do today.
At this point, I should probably state that this is going to be a dramatized opinion piece, and that I have no problem with the Kia brand. I know plenty of people who own Kia Souls, and have found them to be reliable, steadfast vehicles. That being said, there are measurable reasons as to why the choice of lime-green is the worst possible hue that could have been chosen for this vehicle.
When selecting a color for a more modern design, most design professionals, such as Mary Stribley, a writer for Canva Magazine, would tell you that the most impactful color palettes are those that are either muted, or warm and bold. Choosing lime-green for a modern design is not only a barbaric attack against the conventions of art, but a slap in the face to consumers. The idea that proper effort and critical thinking didn't go into a product on which people spend tens of thousands of dollars is a symptom of a much larger disease. The condition from which we all suffer, which is peoples leaning away from art and self-expression in exchange for a better price. In essence, we would sell away our soul, as long as it's at a bargain.
It is my opinion as a writer, as an artist, and as an American, that we should all be putting careful thought and effort into what we express and put out into the world. If we all were just a little more careful with how we treated the world, it might be a better place.
So please, stop driving lime-green Kia Souls. They make me very very sad.
