I have had a fascination (obsession) with lighthouses most of my life. For as long as I can remember, I was drawn to them in books and movies. Living in the literal middle of the country, I have never really seen a lighthouse in real life, thus putting a coastal road trip to visit some of these beautiful structures at the top of my bucket list. But last year my appreciation of this certain type of architecture peaked when I got my first tattoo of, you guessed it, a lighthouse.

As I decided to have this picture permanently etched into my skin, I thought a lot about why lighthouses are so important to me. I predicted that I would get a lot of questions about the reasoning behind my tattoo but to my surprise, my lighthouse is the least asked about tattoo of the four that I have. Most people, especially in Christian communities, assume that I got my lighthouse to represent God's position as the light of my life. The lighthouse is often used as a metaphor for God, who remains standing strong, shining light to guide you back to shore, regardless of how dark or rough the waters might get. But for me, lighthouses bring on a whole different meaning.

For most of my life, I have had a desire to help people. As I entered high school, I soon realized a passion for missions and this began my search for a Christian college in order to pursue a career in ministry. I felt called to go far and wide in order to share the gospel. When I got to college, as a Christian Ministries major, I very soon realized that I am not cut out for this type of work. I felt lost in my first ministry class as I began to doubt my faith. I ended up changing my major in the middle of my first semester of college, as many do. Naturally, switching majors can be scary. But for me the apprehension wasn't so much centered around not knowing what to do but came with the realization that I wasn't meant for the job that I was planning my life around. I felt like a failure.

The next semester I took my first classes in Communications and Sociology and declared a double major in those subjects short after that. I was loving my courses and felt a lot more comfortable than I did in my previous major. I met with a career counselor and she told me all of the jobs that I could possibly get with my combination of majors, all of which seemed to fit perfectly for me. Even though I was excited about the possibilities, I still couldn't shake the feeling that I was abandoning a call that I felt on my life. One change in major had shattered my expectations. I got it in my head that because I wasn't cut out for full time ministry, that I wasn't going to have the ability to help people in the way that I so longingly wanted to.

Let's get metaphorical. All of my life I have longed to be a flashlight. Portable and convenient. Adaptable to many situations. I dreamed of being available to people that were lost in the dark as a guiding light amongst their travels near and far. I thought that it was my destiny to give comfort in the form of light wherever people needed it and that took form in my aspirations of being an international missionary. And when I realized that I wasn't cut out for this, I thought that my light bulb had burned out and my batteries had died. I thought I was a broken flashlight but in reality, I'm not a flashlight at all.

I am a lighthouse.

A lighthouse is built with a solid foundation on land next to rocky waters. A lighthouse is built strong as it risks being taken out by storms and incoming ships. A lighthouse contains a powerful bulb that has the ability to shine far to illuminate the waters for the lost at sea. A lighthouse provides guidance as ships struggle to find their way home. A lighthouse is cared for by a dedicated and meticulous lighthouse keeper that has a passion for the lost people that the lighthouse has the ability to help.

I am a person that holds strong to routine. I desire to establish strong roots wherever I end up living in the future. I am a person whom is strong in her beliefs, enough to defend them in the roughest of waves. I am a person who sees the needs directly around me and wishes to work to improve them, instead of someone who wants to venture into the unknown of the sea. I am a person who has had a lot of life thrown at them, giving me the desire to help guide people out of the darkness that I was once in. I recognize that the help I am able to give isn't necessary at all times and for all people, but is perfectly placed where it is most needed and will be utilized when the time is right.

The person that I am is not conducive to the flashlight life but I have the qualities to be a very high-functioning lighthouse. Just because Flashlights aren't the only source of light. And just because I will never be able to fully perform flashlight duties, doesn't mean that I don't have some kind of light bulb inside of me, ready to shine. I don't have to go far and wide to use the light that I was given to help the people around me. I can stay right where I am. But I do have to embrace the light that I was created to be instead of spending my whole life desiring to be one that I wasn't.

I'm not a lighthouse by accident. I was engineered by an architect who built me with certain features and qualities required for the work that He intends for me to do. Just as you are. Discover what kind of light fixture you are and live into that. Find out where your light is needed most and what purpose your type of structure is best equipped to do. Make sure that you are well charged and your bulb is ready so you are always available to light up when darkness is cast upon you.

Regardless of what type of light you are, shine bright. Someone will notice.