I'd never been lucky when it came to love. I never knew what love was or what it was supposed to look like. I grew up seeing and thinking that love was supposed to be this certain way when in reality, that was the complete opposite. Still, as I got older, I'd cling onto these boys who would be what I saw growing up, only to get my heart broken every single time. I spent a lot of time when being both in those relationships and out of them in what felt like darkness, because I believed that each and every one took away my spark to light my fire. Luckily, I've started to get it back.
This poem is made up of a small handful of poems that I started writing months ago when I was still in the dark in my college dorm room at any hour of the night. It wasn't until recently that I started to write about something good did I realize the progression and stark differences between them. From the pages of my journal to the inside of your screens, these are the words I never said before.
And to all the boys who inspired me during the darkness, and the one boy who helped me find my light. This is for you.
You Found The Light
I was impressed
at how easy you could unclasp my bra
and throw it on your bedroom floor.
You must of had a lot of practice.
Silly me, I thought I was special.
But I was wrong
because the next morning,
you threw me my clothes
like they were taking up space
for the next girl whose bra
you'll take off so easily.
How sad,
that a person
whose once warm embrace
now leaves me shivering.
Do your lips still hurt
trying to form the right words
to say to me
that I never got the chance to hear?
What a waste.
Just make sure you lick
the betrayal off them
before using them
on the next girl.
One day I'll find someone
who will be everything
you told me
I never deserved.
My eyes hide
behind the darkness
from past lovers
who chose to burn my flame.
I thought I lost it.
But then you looked me
in the eyes
and saw the beauty I never did.
You saw beyond the dark
and gave me color.
You found the light.
