I'd never been lucky when it came to love. I never knew what love was or what it was supposed to look like. I grew up seeing and thinking that love was supposed to be this certain way when in reality, that was the complete opposite. Still, as I got older, I'd cling onto these boys who would be what I saw growing up, only to get my heart broken every single time. I spent a lot of time when being both in those relationships and out of them in what felt like darkness, because I believed that each and every one took away my spark to light my fire. Luckily, I've started to get it back.

This poem is made up of a small handful of poems that I started writing months ago when I was still in the dark in my college dorm room at any hour of the night. It wasn't until recently that I started to write about something good did I realize the progression and stark differences between them. From the pages of my journal to the inside of your screens, these are the words I never said before.

And to all the boys who inspired me during the darkness, and the one boy who helped me find my light. This is for you.

You Found The Light

I was impressed

at how easy you could unclasp my bra

and throw it on your bedroom floor.

You must of had a lot of practice.

Silly me, I thought I was special.

But I was wrong

because the next morning,

you threw me my clothes

like they were taking up space

for the next girl whose bra

you'll take off so easily.

How sad,

that a person

whose once warm embrace

now leaves me shivering.

Do your lips still hurt

trying to form the right words

to say to me

that I never got the chance to hear?

What a waste.

Just make sure you lick

the betrayal off them

before using them

on the next girl.

One day I'll find someone

who will be everything

you told me

I never deserved.

My eyes hide

behind the darkness

from past lovers

who chose to burn my flame.

I thought I lost it.

But then you looked me

in the eyes

and saw the beauty I never did.

You saw beyond the dark

and gave me color.

You found the light.