I have been at my school for three years. I have made friends. I have lost friends. I have found parts of myself and I have lost parts of myself. However, for all three years, I have been depressed. My life is not going where I felt it should and I was beginning to lose sight of who I really am. I felt unloved. I felt like the world had turned against me. Nothing felt like it was falling into place. I came back from Spring Break this year and I realized just how miserable I was. I went to a very dark place that I did not like being at all. I was at my lowest point that I have ever been emotionally and mentally, and physically. I could not see a way out.
On a Wednesday, I called my grandfather and the tone in my voice and what I was saying scared him. He did the most logical thing he could think of, he called my Aunt Kristi. She called me and we talked for a while on the phone. At the end of it all, she told me she was coming to Gainesville, which is about an hour from her house, to check on me and to make sure that I was okay. She also told me that she had told her best friend, Heather, what was going on, and that I shouldn’t be surprised if Heather called me as well. Heather called me no less than 30 minutes later. She also decided to come to Gainesville. Kristi picked her up and they came to Gainesville to have dinner and talk me off the proverbial ledge that I was hovering on at the time. In one dinner, they made me feel so much better about myself and my life. They made me feel like I was loved again. They let me know that I wasn’t alone.
That dinner was so important to me not only because they came, but because they came when they didn’t have to. They put off being with their families to come be with me and hold my hand. See, Kristi is my maternal aunt. But, she is my mother figure. She is the person who I look to for guidance and wisdom in the face of a mother who was absent my entire life. Heather is Kristi’s best friend. But, she is more like an aunt to me. I love her and her husband and children like they are my family. I know that I am always welcome at Heather’s house. These two women are the reason I realized that I had so much to live for. They made me realize that my life matters more than I could see at the time.
Sometimes in life, we face so much pain and suffering that it feels like we are going to drown in a sea of despair. We lose sight of why we matter or who we even matter to. We no longer believe in ourselves because we do not think that anyone believes in us. I am only now realizing just how truly blessed I am to have people like Heather and Kristi and their families in my life. They represent that one ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. Their children represent everything that is good and nice and decent in the world.
The families as a whole represent a safe blanket to wrap up in when life because unbelievably difficult. So, to Heather Morgan and Kristi Stoll, I thank you for being the light and the good that I need to see in this world. Thank you for being there even though it is not your responsibility to do so. But most of all, thank you for being who you are, as friends and as women and as mothers. I love you two more than I think I will ever be able to adequately express.
