As humans, we have a number of needs—some more obvious than others—like the need for food, for shelter and for clothing. But other than our basic necessities, we also have an ever-powerful need for acceptance. The social creature in us all wants nothing more than to be liked, appreciated and respected, but too often we allow the fear that we won't be accepted to control our actions. We spend too much of our time people-pleasing—thinking of the correct remark, laughing at the appropriate time, wondering if anyone would judge us if we left the house in Crocs.
Too many of us shy away from our possibilities because we are scared of what everyone will say or think about us. But what we fail to realize is that people will always harbor negative criticism. You can perform a dance completely in sync, follow a football play exactly how you practiced or cook a meal with the perfect amount of flavor and some people will still find something negative to say about you. With that inevitability, the logic behind changing your decisions based on the opinions of others simply doesn't exist, as someone somewhere out there will always disapprove.
Your social satisfaction will never be completely in balance—as you spend your energy trying to make others like you, there will always be people who don't. In other words, the most fulfilling way to live life is by just forgetting the consequences and acting in a way that satisfies your own self.
However, in no way does this mean we should ignore any and all social feedback. Of course if you act like an a-hole, some of that social feedback could be helpful in your growth towards being less of an a-hole. Knowing how to discern constructive criticism from insults that are meant to bring us down is a fundamental lesson we need to learn in order to live up to our potential. Other people's opinions can be useful, but we should take them with a grain of salt and not allow these opinions to control our lives.
What hinders us from internal growth are usually the attitudes of strangers, when in reality, those are the opinions that should matter least. True friends, though difficult to come by, accept, care and believe in you—being your genuine, vulnerable or weird self only strengthens their acceptance of who you are. It's a waste of energy to try to get everyone to like you, so find a few closest to your heart, and be yourself, and soon, gaining the approval of everyone else will no longer be a priority.
Let's embrace those who judge, sneer at and speak ill of us. Take a social risk—something you normally wouldn't do because you're scared of what others will think (like wearing Crocs in public). Taking minor risks will help you understand that ignoring your fear of judgment is liberating. Your fears may never completely disappear, but the importance lies in acting in spite of those fears.
Do not base your actions on eliminating negative criticism, as that eliminates many promising actions and lifestyles from our realm of possibility. Instead, you do you. Make your top priority saying how you feel and doing what organically comes from you.
