Growing up we hear how everything is great at 15, 18 and 21. Why? Because that's when you slowly get the freedom of becoming independent. At the horrid age of 15, you are able to get your driver's permit and learn a skill that is valuable in everyday life. At 18, you get to sign permission forms for yourself, buy lottery tickets, vote and buy tobacco. At 21 you get to buy alcohol and probably other things I haven't got to yet.

I turned 15 the summer before my sophomore year, and reality set in that I was starting a new school and that I left all my friends that I had since K-5. That year the excuses came as to why they couldn't hang out and I slowly found myself as the typical online home-schooled student - alone and friendless. It was in this year that I discovered my true self. I was okay with all my flaws and imperfections, unlike my peers who still to this day debate whether or not they should/shouldn't have done something. That year I stopped living with the what ifs that come with life. I learned that only in yourself will you truly find happiness. The second semester I started babysitting two of whom I think are the most amazing kids. Then they were two and seven, and my first day I was stressed about whether they would like me or not. Turns out they were worried about the same thing. After countless timeouts and mud fights they earned a special place in my heart. I will forever stop and play, Mason and Payton.

On my 18th birthday, I had my freshman year of college to look forward to. While my old classmates where trying to spend as much time together before they all left and their reality set in, I was fine. I had two jobs and was making money for what I thought would be clothes, but was spent mostly on cookout trays. Buying last-minute items for my dorm I realized that behind all the excitement, I was completely terrified. I was terrified as to whether I would succeed in my classes and if I would enjoy playing collegiate volleyball. On move-in day, it was the calm before preseason. All I can say about preseason is that it was the longest shortest week of my life. That week I saw what my life would be for the next few months. After a long season and many hard practices, I learned what a tricide and family is as well as the true meaning of respect. After many memories, both good and bad, I can say that I have never been closer to any other volleyball team. The second semester I braved playing lacrosse. With a whole month of six a.m.'s and six p.m.'s for preseason, that was my welcome into the lacrosse team. As a completely diverse team, I grew into the person that no longer excludes others. They pushed me to study harder because they genuinely wanted me to succeed not for the team, but for my future. And while my expectation of being a good student and having good grades was nowhere near what I wanted, I learned a hard lesson of time management.

While I am thankfully nowhere near 21, I cannot inform you of the "joys" of being 21. However at 21, I will be a senior hopefully still at Erskine. I will be fighting senioritis, but I will be a few classes from earning my Bachelor's in science. I hope that I will have my life as together as I think I will.