There's no better way to end the summer than by reflecting on all the things that make lifeguarding the most most bittersweet job on the planet. Cheers, lifeguarding. You're the best.
1. Giving up and just letting a kid run because you already told them to stop twice and they’re still not listening and you don't feel like yelling again.
2. Having to watch PDA in the pool.
Even worse: when they're the only ones in the pool and you literally cannot look away.
3. When it's pouring rain and people insist on being in the pool anyway.
4. Getting a day off on a holiday, 100 degree day, or any weekend day in July.
Also known as the day you sleep for 12 hours straight.
5. When a group of twelve year old boys rolls in for a birthday party.
6. Watching a really, really little kid get in line for the diving board and taking your shirt and shoes off juuuuust in case.
7. Making up rules to get kids to stop doing whatever it is they're doing that’s really annoying you.
(Keep the water in the pool, please! really means splash me one more time and your name is going to the top of my sh*t list.)
8. Having to deal with poop, puke, or any bodily fluids in general.
9. Sticking your nose into your co-workers' business as to not be left out of the guard gossip.
10. Clearing the pool when it starts to thunder.
Because there is nothing on this earth that a lifeguard wants to hear more than the sound of the lightning alarm.
11. Waking up in a cold sweat after having a nightmare about having to actually make a save.
12. Spinning your whistle so hard that you lose control. Then, watching as it flies off your finger and lands somewhere on the deck.
Also, praying it doesn't hit a member while it's airborne.
13. Knowing you can’t get off the stand and go get it until it's time to rotate (which also means you have nothing to keep you entertained for the rest of your time up.)
Why do bad things happen to good people?
14. When all your friends are hanging out at concerts and going to the beach and you're on the closing shift five days in a row. 
While you're watching Luke Bryan perform live to a sold out crowd, I'm watching a 65-year-old man swim laps in a speedo. I think I'm the real winner here.
15. When a kid does something they know isn't allowed and then they look at you to see if you saw them do it. 
16. Giving a swim lesson to the kid who won’t stop crying.
17. Thinking about how, despite everything, you really do love your job more than you ever thought you could.
Because really, what's better than tanning and hanging out with your co-workers while being surrounded by ridiculously cute kids? Nothing, that's what.
(Except for thunderstorms.)
