A few words of advice, from me to you, to possibly save your life —
Never get on an elevator with a full bladder. Hear me out. I do not have a fear of elevators. I know logically, I should, but I don’t. I know that it would be so easy to drop to my death or simply be crushed by the momentum of the fall. I know that sometimes elevator doors open to a wall and that sometimes that wall has been charged with electricity from the elevator shaft moving and shifting electrons and protons. I know that elevators have probably killed more humans than sharks. I know! But I am not scared. It may be the scariest place on earth for some. But not for me. For me, I am indifferent. However, I will be damned if I ever get on an elevator with a full bladder and less food than a granola bar.
I’m a bit superstitious. I believe that if I were to ever get on an elevator when I had to pee — even slightly — the elevator will break or stall and I will either die or be stuck and for the life of me I do not want to die and then pee myself right after and I do not want to get stuck in an elevator and then be forced to pee in the corner or else risk my kidneys failing.
More importantly, if you tuck your sheets into the foot of your bed, you will never again have to worry about cold feet or cold hands grabbing your ankles and pulling you off the bed. I know it feels like you’re a hot pocket and your ankles might get slight cramps, but you’ll be able to fully extend your legs and stretch your knees without fear of scarily long fingers wrapping around your legs like manacles and yanking you off the bed — slamming your head against the bed frame or the floor and knocking you unconscious.
And most importantly: fully close your closet door and test it to be sure it is actually closed and latched in place before bed.
Nothing, I repeat, nothing is worse than waking up in a cold sweat in the dead of night with the feeling that someone something is watching you. If you were to turn over right then and see your closet door wide open, would you scream? Could you scream? Or would you be paralyzed in fear when you see eyes glowing from a form that could barely be described as human?
Lastly, as a preventative measure, wear an eye mask to sleep, so that when you do wake up in fear you will have a better chance convincing yourself not to worry because you won’t be able to see anything to worry about. And remember: don’t peek.
