There are many personality traits that make the social world go around, one of them being sass. The Urban dictionary defines sassy as, possessing the attitude of someone endowed with an ungodly amount of cool. Let's face it: You have one, I have one, heck your grandma has one. Sassy people are nationwide and we're taking over!
1. Sarcasm and wittiness are my weapons of mass destruction.
Due to my wonderful gift of sass, I can quickly come up with something witty and sarcastic to say to anyone I think is rude. I'll gladly lift the flood gates and let the Black Sea of Sass flow. Also, I'll be the first one to call you out on your pathetic attempt to impress that guy at the bar, but in a stern yet gentle way. Depending on how I feel that day and/or how I perceive you determines if I use my weapons for good or bad. Sometimes it just slips out of my mouth so often that I forget I'm doing it, making it a hard time turning it off when others need you to. Depending if I'm using my weapon for bad or not I usually have to say the phrase, "Geez, I'm just kidding" just to let the other person know that there's no bad blood, especially if they don't understand the concept of sarcasm. Talking to someone that doesn't understand sarcasm is like talking to a little baby. It's like you have to watch what you say, but at the same time can say whatever you want and they probably won't get it.
2. I'm a straight shooter.
Hiding your opinions and not being honest with yourself and others isn't the way way to live life. Introduce me to your girlfriend/boyfriend and I will be completely honest with you. I won't be mean about it, but at the same time I'm going to tell you how I see it. What's the point in lying? If you're my friend then that means I love you and believe that you deserve to know what's up. My friends come to me when they want my opinion because they know I will not hold anything back. You need someone in your life to tell you that you missed a spot on your legs while shaving or to stop messing around and get your life together. The sass will always put you in your place.
3. I've mastered the art of the side eye and I'm not afraid to use it.
The side eye is literally the best expression there is because it says it all from: when you've lost all patience with everyone and their mama, see something shady go down, or to even when your boss calls you in for a pointless meeting you could've had through text. Let's get one thing straight, eye rolling and giving the side eye are different. When you roll your eyes, you're just telling people that you don't want to look at them. The side-eye represents judgement and this simple yet threatening look says, "this crap is dumb and is below me." You're showing that you are judging every part of what they're doing. It's intense. If you do or say something that is not quite right or I hear something so stupid that I can't believe my ears, just know that you'll be receiving that look from me. At this point in my life, it's basically a reflex. I have no shame.
4. I will fight for the friendship of my friends and family.
Sometimes I have to be sassy for others. If I'm sassy towards you don't fret, because trust and believe that that sass carries over to the rest of the world as well. When it comes to protecting my friends and loved ones, my sass can go from 0 to 100 real quick. Once you've crossed that line you've officially stepped into the lions den and no mercy will be shown. If my friends and I aren't treated right I will not stand for it, so I don't have a problem with causing a little commotion for my people. Some people are uncomfortable with confrontation and getting out of their element, so that's where I have to step in for the not so sassy people. If a guy breaks their heart or if someone is rude to them while in my presence, watch out. What kind of friend and would I be if I sat back and watched my friends get treated any less than they deserve. Also, if you try hitting on my friends and they're not interested, I will intervene and tell you to bug off or I'll just save my breath and pull her away from you and your scrub friends like the savage I am *hair flips.*
5. Go read a book, not me.
My facial expressions give people life. It's hard for people to read me because my RBF (resting b*tch face) is on 24/7 even when I'm at my highest, so let me just help you out: STOP. You're just going to stress yourself out trying to figure me out. Another thing, I'm not that great with feelings, so you'll hear me say "I'm fine" a lot. Yes, I know I may look like I'm planning your murder or world domination, but 90% of the time I'm perfectly fine. If you keep asking me what's wrong? my answer will remain the same and the more you ask the more sass you'll receive. Nothing is wrong! I'm just wearing my sassy pants. On those kinds of days, the best thing to do is just not talk to me, look at me or even breath in my direction. Even though I can be rough around the edges, this little mama still feels. I'll still be able to stand tall and never lose my sass.
I know that we can be difficult to understand, but just give us a chance. Please do not mistake us for divas. We're fabulous and sassy but we're never intentionally stuck up or rude. So if you can handle a little witty banter and playful taunting then you'll enjoy the company of a sassy woman. We're lively, vivacious and full of sugar and spice. Oh and remember,
