When I was in first grade, I looked up to my older sister (who was in sixth grade at the time) and I thought, wow she is so much older. She has her life together and knows what she's doing. Then when I got into sixth grade, I thought, wow I definitely don't have life together and I thought she did in sixth grade. Each time I looked at people older than myself, seniors in high school or people in college, for example, I always thought they had everything figured out until I became that age and realized you never really do have it ALL together.
Even now, I'm a junior in college and I don't know how I ever thought people my age knew what they were doing. I feel pressured now to know exactly what I want in life, to know exactly who I am and to carry that out every day. I feel that by the time I graduate college, I'll need a journalism job immediately, and I'll have to make good money, buy a nice car and house and live the dream life. I don't know why I have this constant looming cloud of pressure over my head to have life perfectly balanced all the time. But what I realized is that I'll never really have it together exactly the way I want. Even at your peak, you won't have all the answers in life. No matter our age, ability, class, we're just all trying to figure out who we are and how to survive.
I know I still have many years ahead of me in life to learn, to figure out who I am and what I want, but I'm still training myself to loosen my grip on the reigns of life and just take it slow and enjoy the ride.
I think many of us are so caught up in making it to tomorrow and devising the next game plan, that we never stop to smell the fresh air, gaze upon the view and enjoy life for what it is. I know for me that it's a constant battle to remind myself to appreciate the now and live in the moment.
We're pushed to live our lives in such a go go go environment all the time, but I hope that you'll take time for yourself and cherish each moment. Because right now you're the youngest you'll ever be. I understand that this is cliché, but your time is now, and if you don't take it now, you never will.
You don't have to have life figured out now or ever. We're all our own ball of mess, but that's the beauty in all of this, so don't take any of it for granted. Life is teaching you some really valuable things, so be patient.
Feminism Redefined
