As I scroll through my camera roll, I notice that I have a lot of pictures of my dog, Deacon. I begin to ponder about why I have this many from whenever I'm home, pictures that my family members send me of him, or the screenshots from whenever I FaceTime my mom and she shows me him on the screen. I got a video earlier from my dad of him barking and I couldn't help but smile.

But feelings of sadness rolled over me and I then realized why I had all these pictures.

Deacon is an elderly dog.

He's been in the family since I was in first grade, which was when I was seven, and he's turning 13 this year. I know that soon his time will come, and I really don't want to see it come. But death is inevitable to avoid and I even know that my own time will come in the far future. He also has arthritis so whenever he limps I get worried. He's been on different medications for it and I just can't help but want him better. His joints are not the same as they were when I was in middle school or even elementary school.

But he is still the energetic puppy that I've known since I was a little girl.

I even still call him a puppy because that's what he is at heart, despite his age.

I look at this stuffed dog that my friend got me for secret Santa of a golden retriever with a sticky note on it that says "Hi! I'm your Deacon away from home!" and I know that he is still in my heart even when I a distance away.

I really don't want to think about the future for him right now because I know that if I think far into the future that he won't be in my family anymore. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time just to see him as a puppy running around the first floor of the house one more time. Just to see him learn how to go upstairs for the first time. Interacting with our old neighbor's cat one more time, being the stubborn dog that I love so much.

I love you, Deacon. You are and forever will be a good boy.