Have you ever tripped on an uneven edge of a sidewalk and cringed silently as you walk it off praying no one noticed? Now imagine that same scenario, except this time you were simply walking down the hallway when all of a sudden you feel as if your entire foot has shattered the second you took a step. You clench your teeth, hold your breath, try to keep walking, and pray that the searing pain ends before you are forced to react. This is life with RSD.
If you have been around me much at all since sophomore year of high school the likelihood of this very scenario happening to me while you were close by is very high. However, you probably never knew anything was even wrong. The thing with chronic pain is, people can't see an obvious injury so they assume the pain is not real. They assume you're being dramatic or are just wanting attention. Which, if you know me at all you know that's the last thing I want. So there are only a handful of people that truly know about my condition and the obstacles that I face because of it. Now, this article isn't to make you feel bad for me. I'm fine! God has helped me get through far more than I could have imagined, and honestly I've never been sad (for too long) about my chronic pain. I'm a strong believer in everything happens for a purpose, this just happens to be one of mine and I don't let it stop me!
This article is about so much more. It's about your friend who hasn't quite opened up, your neighbor that never comes out of their house, the coworker down the hall, the guy that parked in the handicap spot that "appears normal," or the person that is possibly sitting right next to you. This article is about the things that are unseen that can be worse than any injury you can physically see from across the room. This article is about a friend that may just need someone to listen, to believe, and to care.
My journey began the summer before sophomore year. A simple canoe trip changed my life. That story is for another day though. You see that day when I found myself stuck between a rock and a hard place, quite literally, I knew I only had two choices. Complain about it or use it for God's glory. I chose the latter (with God's help, of course). You see, it would have been easy to throw a pity party. It still would be, but as always I know there is a greater purpose behind it all. I spent a year at physical therapy, had at least three nerve blocks, one surgery, and several tests that weren't fun to go through. I have been sent home from school by teachers before the bell has rung for first period and I have had to lean on my friends (quite literally) in order to escape the crowd during a pep rally as my dad checked me out because I could no longer walk. I have felt pain that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, yet I have continued to persevere in order to get the job done. I've gone through a lot over the past few years, all without "looking" the part.
You see, society paints a picture that if you look okay, then you must be. Society often says that if you don't look severely injured then you aren't. Well, I hate to tell you but society is wrong. I know so many people going through similar things that don't appear injured. I know people, myself included at times, that are so scared to say how they feel because the person next to them may roll their eyes again. Truth is though, we are all going through things. We all face difficulties that make life harder. Each person's different than the persons next to them.
So next time you go to the grocery store and see the young girl getting out of a car parked in the handicap spot that "appears normal" remember that they may face things that you couldn't imagine in your wildest dreams. Next time your coworker calls in sick, again, remember that there may be more to the story. When your friend sits at the table and tells you once again that they are in pain, just listen. Really listen. You may be the only person that they feel comfortable speaking to. Don't pass up an opportunity to be the light to someone in need.
If your living with a chronic illness, know that I pray for you. Know that I pray that God gives you more strength today than He did yesterday. Know that someone, somewhere, cares. Most importantly, know that you are not alone and you never will be. Hold your head up high and be the light.
Sincerely,
The girl that appears "just fine"
