8 things that are Scientifically more stressful than breaking the law

8 things that are Scientifically more stressful than breaking the law

7. Getting married


In 1967, Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe created a scale based on scientific research on the effects of stressful events and their correlation to future health implications. This scale is now called the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale (shocker, I know), and it ranks the stressors in order of how much they affect daily life and probability of illness as a result.

At the bottom of the list is minor violations of the law, such as jaywalking or speeding tickets. I can just picture myself hyperventilating at the police officer for going through a yellow light four years ago, but it having little effect on the outcome of my health later. Surprisingly enough, there are 41 life-changing events that have been considered effective on you over health (check out the scale here, provided from Dartmouth University).

1. Major holidays

Scientifically, Christmas is considered a stressful life event. Just think about how EVERY year, you have to see estranged family members, eat mystery food, and guilt yourself into buying unnecessary gifts.

2. Vacations

Shockingly enough, your relief from your 9-5 day job and heading to paradise is actually considered a life-changing stressor! Now in comparison to a change in responsibilities at work or a different line of work (both higher up on this scale), vacationing is less stressful, but it is still more stressful than the ominous of every day. Planning, agreeing, paying, and the pressure to have fun is actually impacting your health!

3. Beginning and ending school

Thank Jesus I never have to apply for college undergraduate schools again... oh the endless possibilities and terrifying self-judgment. While heading off to college was an exciting and trivial time, this is definitely a stressor for the books. In contrast, finishing school is equally, if not more, stressful because of the unknown ahead. I'm stressing bro because big kid jobs and 401k's are in the near future.

4. Outstanding personal acheivements

Okay seriously!? Who knew that Nobel Peace Prizes, Job Promotions, and other great accomplishments are stressful and potentially making one more susceptible to illness because I am shook. Unless you count a rise to fame because of said accomplishments. The newfound responsibilities and projection of oneself are actually stressful AF, be aware of success, people!

5. Change in frequency of arguments

I find this one surprisingly up on the list, simply because of the specifics of it. I think it is only a stressful life-changer because of the keyword "frequency". So, if you were to fight with your S.O. every week, that's stressful. But if you now fight 2-3 times a week, now you are more stressed than if you have a mortgage over $20,000. I think the real question is, does the inverse also create an epic amount of stress? Say you argue less. You think you'd be less stressed, but not according to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale (no escaping the stress)!

6. Pregancy

This one... I get it. Like I'd be hella stressed if I was growing a baby in me like one of that miracle grow Chia Pets. The care of a baby on the way is enough to freak not only the momma out but also everyone invested in her and the baby's well-being. Well deserved, life change.

7. Getting married

Wedding bells are ringing and so are your ears from the tinnitus of stress. Any life change can be stressful, but the "happy couple" is just a giant ball of stress while being surrounded by white dresses, wedding rings, bridezillas, gluten-free cakes, open bars, and the disgust of the father of the bride. Yikes.

8. The death of a spouse

Coming in at number 1, the death of a spouse is considered the most stressful event in terms of impact on health. Not surprising, but affirming that the heart has the most power over the body's wellbeing. Mourning of any kind is on this list, but losing a soul-mate and partner for life is debilitating to many. It makes getting sent to prison feel like a cake walk. I want to take this stressful event to give a pause for anyone who has ever lost a loved one, especially a spouse. Keep on, keepin' on.

To put everything into perspective, you never know what kind of stress affects people, and the magnitude of their crises and life-changes. It can be as simple as a birthday, or as shattering as divorce.

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Dear Mom, I Hope You Know

I hope you know that I am here for you--until the very end.

Dear Mom,

I hope you know that I appreciate you.

You are the hardest working woman I know, continuously putting your family before yourself. Thank you for doing all of the tedious jobs that no one wants to do like keeping the house in order, cooking the food, and doing the laundry. Thank you for constantly putting up with my siblings and I. Thank you for always supporting us in our interests and hobbies. Thank you for investing in our daily lives and listening to our minor problems. Thank you for always loving us unconditionally.

SEE ALSO: 51 Things My Mom Didn't Think I Was Listening To...

I hope you know I'm sorry.

I know I can be a big pain in the butt sometimes, and for that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for yelling at you, arguing with you, not listening to you, and making dumb decisions at times, but thank you for loving me anyways. Thank you for helping me stand back up, teaching me right from wrong, and pushing me to be the very best version of me.

I hope you know your love inspires me.

You live your life with a love that is contagious. Whether its nurturing love, tough love, friendly love, or romantic love, you have it all and you show it daily. The love you and Dad share is something I hope to find one day and the love you have for your family is evident in the way you constantly put us first.

I hope you know that you are my biggest role model and hero.

Ever since I was a little girl, you have been the person I have looked to in my life. You are strong, independent, confident, loving, supportive, and nurturing-- everything I strive to be as a woman and as a future mother. You give the best advice, even when I don't always take it. Though, I should know better by now because mothers always know best. Without you in my life, I honestly don't know where I'd be.

I hope you know that you are my best friend.

Not only are you my biggest cheerleader supporting me in everything I do, you are the person I talk to about everything, whether it's good or bad. I'm honestly so thankful for the relationship we share because I've had countless screwups and you literally give the best advice. Seriously, thank you for being the person I can count on at all times, at any time of the day or even night to just talk with. I mean we really do have some of the best conversations, best laughs, best cries (when needed), and the most fun watching cheesy chick flicks together or going on crazy shopping adventures.

SEE ALSO: I'm The Girl With The Cool Mom

I hope you know that I am here for you--until the very end.

I don't mean to make you cry or anything -- even though you probably already are, but I want you to know that when the time comes, I'm going to be there for you just like all of these years you've been here for me. I will be there to support you, talk with you, laugh with you, cry with you, and love you for all of my life.

Honestly, I can't really imagine my life without you -- but it doesn't matter because I wouldn't be here without you, so here's to you.

Thank you for being you.

Love you lots!

Your daughter.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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That Boy Won’t Cure Your Loneliness Or Fix All Your Problems— So Please Stop Expecting Him To

You need to find yourself first and really fall in love with that self before you can find your person and fall in love with him.


The biggest misconception I had about love is that it would fix all the problems in my life. I inevitably thought love would give me a lifelong soulmate so I wouldn't feel so goddamn lonely all the time.

That happily ever after. A forever ride or die.

Once we fall in love with someone, we experience that euphoric feeling of passion and admiration. It's a great feeling, isn't it? That there's that boy who's all about you, just as you, are heads-over-heels about him. The world seems to be spinning in the right direction, and you suddenly believe that perhaps this boy was your lucky charm, a special omen brought exclusively from the heavens.

This boy knows all your tiny little secrets, calls you beautiful and stares at you lovingly when you walk alongside each other, hand in hand. With him, you feel as if you aren't lonely anymore. That you won't be that sad pathetic girl alone at a New Year's Eve Party anymore. That you'll have this boy to lean onto no matter what.

He says he's all yours, anyway. He puts your number in as "Babygirl" on his phone. He never misses the chance to text you good morning and be the last one to end a conversation before you drift off to sleep.

Let me get real with you, ladies. But this boy probably won't cure your sad loneliness or fix all the problems in your life. He won't become your soulmate, but instead, he's going to be a distraction. He's going to be a lesson, whether he breaks your heart or not.

Because once you start fully depending on this boy for emotional and moral support, he's going to start becoming distant. He's most likely not going to be there for you when shit happens, for one reason or another. He's not going to know what to say when you start crying other than a simple "It's going to be okay". Don't necessarily blame him for that. I guarantee that you're going to start blaming yourself about his behavior. And the more you start blaming yourself for how he's changed, it's only going to distract you from actually realizing the true reasons behind your problems and acting on them.

I know this all sounds a bit startling.

Try flipping the tables and think of it this way:

You just met this amazing guy. He's good looking, educated, passionate and respectful, etc. You have so much fun around him, and you come to fall in love with all his imperfections. But as time drags on, he begins to rant about how miserable school/work is and how much he hates these littlest of things you find a bit ridiculous. Imagine how confused and overwhelmed you would feel if he begins piling that stress onto you, telling you "But dating you is going to make me feel better about _____ since you're going to be here with me through it, right?"

I don't know about you but after hearing that, I would be running away at full tilt.

Now I'm not saying you have to be happy and bubbly around a boy 24/7. I'm not promoting some type of relationship where everything is perfect—of course, you'll come to find differences, have arguments and lean on each other during tough times.

I guess what I'm saying is that you shouldn't have to depend on someone in order to find your way through life or to feel less lonely.

Why should you feel that only a man would have the capabilities to change your problems? We're strong independent women, after all.

In most situations, you will only have yourself to lean on since not everyone's going to be there for you.

A boy isn't willing to fix all the problems in your life by licking your wounds and bandaging them up. Sure, he might be around to express sympathy and hold you when all you want to do is cry. But he's mainly going to be a part of your life to support you. He'll support your decisions and support you for how well you handle yourself. He'll love you for your independence, not how dependent you are. He fell in love with that free spirit from the beginning.

And if he left your life, he may have done so because *news flash* men aren't good with all that emotional baggage. Simple as that. So erase all those crazy thoughts about him secretly cheating on you or being a dick for wanting to end things.

My mom once told me this about love: "You need to find yourself first and really fall in love with that self before you can find your person and fall in love with him."

So, my friends, if you haven't found a boy yet, don't lose hope—he's going to come along.

But you need to find yourself first.

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