Most of us have had that night where we might have had a little too much to drink, and end up crying about something or another. Maybe it was boys, or maybe your friends ditched you at a party. I have had a few of those nights — the last one ended with one of my sisters who I had only talked to a few times acting as my therapist on the stairway of our toast bar.
I ended up writing myself a little advice, which I forgot about until I was looking through my notes a couple days ago. This is only something I could think of writing while intoxicated, so here it is;
" The friends you have now are not gonna be the ones you have for the rest of your life. Friends will come and go but you always have you. You need to like yourself, and believe in yourself. You need to be your own person first. Be okay with going alone and doing stuff by yourself. Stop basing your self-worth off of how many friends you have. People will hate even the nicest people, but that's how you know who you should really hang out with. If people talk shit about other people's insecurities, you know they're not worth it."
Now, that is certainly not my best writing, and I'm rarely that introspective while sober; however, the message I was trying to get across is pretty true, and something I really needed to hear.
You need to learn to be alone so you never learn to feel lonely.
Friends will come and go, so don't rely on them. Sure, they're great to have, and some will be there for your whole life. But remember that your worth isn't measured by the number of people in your group chat (or if you even have a group chat). You need to be okay with going shopping, to dinner, or on errands by yourself.
When you're in your mid 20's, living alone in an apartment, working on your career, you're only gonna have you. So be yourself, be confident, and don't put up with anyone's shit. Stop trying to make other people happy if you aren't. The biggest thing I've learned is not to let yourself be unhappy in order to fulfill expectations of what your life should look like.
This doesn't mean I'm advocating for being a hermit living alone and getting rid of all of your friends - just learn who the real ones are. Don't be friends with the petty girls who talk bad about others and cause drama. You don't need to be, so why would you?
Don't surround yourself with toxic people because it's better than no people at all. Learn how to be alone, so when you are alone, you don't have to be lonely.
