If you haven't seen "Doctor Strange" yet, please go like right now. It's epic and exciting like all the Marvel movies — it's got the humor and the action and the kinda-romance and the sassy supporting characters (Cloak is the ultimate mom-friend). But it's also got some deep moments that'll keep you up until the nasty grit-eyed hours of the morning chewing it over in your head.
One of those moments gave me the best life advice I've gotten in a long, long time.
The headline was a bit of a misnomer... this advice didn't come from Doctor Strange. It was given to him by the Ancient One. Now, in case you didn't take my suggestion and watch the movie immediately, I'll avoid spoilers, but basically, Strange and the Ancient One have a solemn discussion near the end of the movie in which the Ancient One calls him out on two things she admitted had driven his past success as a doctor, but had hindered him from true greatness. Arrogance and fear, she says, "Arrogance and fear still keep you from learning the simplest and most significant lesson of all. It's not about you."
The scene goes on, touching on more beautifully deep themes, but my brain stopped right there.
Fear driving my success? Yeah, that's relatable. I'll be the first to admit that sometimes, I work hard because failure is too terrifying an option. And hey, that fear of failure really gets stuff done. It's effective, but to what extent?
And as for the arrogance... Arrogance is just a mask covering up the fear (yes, fear again) of inadequacy and too much pride and faith in a carefully crafted reputation. In a world that can't ignore a reputation, it's easy to develop a ruthless mentality towards building one. Do anything to formulate a good reputation, and whatever you do, don't let any form of failure dirty it up. After all, if you don't have a reputation you can take pride in, what are you doing with your life? It's quite the incentive, if you think about it.
Driven by fear and arrogance... Is that any way to live?
The Ancient One straight up tells Strange that fear and arrogance were just holding him back. Clouding his vision. Distracting him from the truth. And she finally blurts out that truth to his face.
"It's not about you."
That was the "simplest lesson." Selflessness equals greatness, according to the Ancient One.
And, after all, selflessness is what matters in the end. Arrogance in reputation is a crutch blown out of proportion, and every worst-case-scenario that bred each fear usually turns out to be irrelevant. What you fear cannot touch you if you see the big picture.
It's just what I needed to hear, to be honest. To be driven by selflessness — to want to succeed for the sake of others instead of needing to succeed to avoid an unthinkably horrible outcome — frees up the mind. Focusing on the positive will get you so much farther than picturing the negative: it's better to want to fight for something than to fight because you have no other choice.
And it's not about what others will think of you. It's about you thinking of others. Taking yourself out of the equation means you have nothing to lose — and having nothing to lose means you have nothing to fear.
With this mentality, everything changes. The stakes are gone. The pressure's off. The stress is relieved.
It's not about you, so don't worry about it! Just do what you can to make the world better for everyone else. And if you fail... Well, if you're making an effort, no matter how small you may think it is, there really is no way to fail at that, is there? What little or great you can manage, it is enough.
