1. You will need to know how to use cursive when you are older.
This is probably THE number one lie you were ever told in school. I probably haven't used cursive since the fifth grade, and I'm sure you can attest to that as well.
2. You will never be allowed to eat in class.
Funny, because just last week I had a sandwich, a bag of Dorito's and three cookies while sitting in English Lit…
3. “None of your tests will ever be multiple choice."
“Your teachers want you to think critically about the questions being asked, and if you don't meet the minimum amount of sentences required in your open-ended questions, points will be deducted from your grade."
Biggest load of bs ever.
4. “If you think [Insert grade] is difficult, wait till you get to [Insert next grade], because it's going to get MUCH harder.
It never actually got any harder.
5. You will always need a cover for your textbooks.
Because, you know, I am totally going to throw my textbooks against a wall and rip out all of the pages.
6. “You will be able to pay off your student loans in no time!"
Said no one ever.
7. Those D.A.R.E. classes always taught you that the police are there to help and you can always tell them anything.
So if I tell the police that there are three handles in my dorm room, my roommate is blacked out and unconscious, and we may or may not have illegal substances in our possession, we won't get in trouble?
8. You will never be able to turn in a late assignment.
*Turns in a paper two days late.* *Gets the paper back and receives an A. * #Winning.
9. You will 100 percent, undoubtedly need this $300 textbook.
College textbooks may be “highly recommended," but they are NEVER required for you to buy. Most of the time they will sit on your desk the entire semester with the plastic wrapping still intact the entire year.
10. You will always use algebra in your adult lives.
Learning logarithms and quadratic formulas will totally get me a degree in journalism. They were SO right.
11. You will get sent home from school if you violate the dress code regulations.
Wearing a crop top and booty shorts are the least of anyone's worries.
12. School will never be cancelled except for on snow days.
Almost every single one of my professors this past semester cancelled class at least once or twice.
13. Your counselors are always available to talk with you.
But first you have to wait three hours to make an appointment only to find out that there aren't any openings until next month. They will always be there for you they said… You can talk to them about anything they said…
14. Smoking will never be allowed on school grounds.
So this designated smoking area near the library is not to be used for smoking?
15. You will not be successful unless you get a college degree.
Isn't Mark Zuckerberg like a billionaire or something like that?
16. If you have studied for the test, then you should have no problem passing it.
Lies, Lies, Lies, LIES! Studying five days in advance, going for extra help and creating 200 flashcards do not guarantee a passing grade on any test.
17. Cellphones are not allowed to be used during class.
Scrolling through Instagram, Facebook and Twitter are easily manageable while taking notes in class.
18. Learning everything about Shakespeare is very, very important.
To care, or not to care, that is the question!
19. If you don't come to class, you will fail.
*Doesn't go to class except for on exam days* *Get's B+ in the class*
20. Our football team will the championships this year.
Weren't they supposed to win it last year… And the year before that… And the year before that one, too?
